


The one where Fitz crosses the line

by AgentOfShip



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fitz as Chandler, Friends AU, Heavy pining, Jemma as Kathy, Kinda, Love Triangles, Mutual Pining, Pining, Strangers to Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-03-23 02:43:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 37,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13777986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentOfShip/pseuds/AgentOfShip
Summary: Fitz meets the woman who could very well become the love of his life. The only problem is that she also happens to be his roommate and best friend's new girlfriend. Kind of a Friends AU inspired by the love triangle between Chandler, Joey and Kathy in season 4. AoS characters are still mostly themselves but they might also have a few traits from some of the Friends characters and of course you will recognize a few scenes and line from the show and those specific few episodes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I've started this a while ago when I rewatched a few episodes of Friends and thought that love triangle would be fun to see with Jemma and Fitz and another character whose name I won't spoil for you right now. So as I said, it's only kind of an AU because Jemma and Fitz are still scientists in this and the other characters are jobs that fit more their characters in AoS than the one they would be in Friends. But this still being a kind of Friends AU, I'll try to keep it light and funny, even when there'll obviously be some heavy pining. Of course, you'll find references to both Friends and AoS but hopefully, you'll find that I didn't make it too obvious. Also, I might have ended things differently for Fitz and Jemma than for Chandler and Kathy ...  
> Also, one last thing, for once I've been reasonable and waited for this whole thing to be written entirely to start posting it. So since the chapters are relatively short and I'll just have to proof read them, you can expect two or three chapters a week.  
> E rating will only be relevant for later chapters.  
> Anyway, hope you'll like it wether you're a fan of Friends or not!

"You know you have to enter a specific combination, not just random numbers right?" 

It wasn't usually like Fitz to tease a stranger -or even just talk to one of his own initiative- but this one was a young woman who managed to make cursing sound pretty and with a British accent that reminded him of home, although not exactly home but close enough, and she seemed rather … oh no she was definitely the most beautiful thing he'd seen in a long time. With her wavy chocolate hair, full lips and soft caramel eyes that seemed to turn golden in the warm light of the sunset, she looked at the same time incredibly beautiful and strangely familiar. And most importantly, she wasn't scary, which shouldn't have been such an extraordinary feat except that, usually, most beautiful women scared him and turned him into a stuttering mess.

As the woman turned around from where she was seemingly trying out every combination possible on the keypad next to the entrance of the building, she scrunched up her nose adorably and actually let out a small chuckle as she smiled at him. Fitz couldn't help smiling back, both because she somehow didn't seem to mind being made fun of by a complete stranger and because her smile lit up her face and it was contagious and impossible to resist. 

"I do know that!" She said, rolling her eyes gently. "But I seem to have been given the wrong one so I thought maybe …"

"You would try random combinations?" Fitz cut her off and winced as he remembered that most people didn't like that. "But even considering it can only be a four digits combination, there's always …"

"10 000 thousands possibilities I know!" She grinned. "But I wrote it pretty hastily so if there's only one wrong number that makes the possibilities fall to 40 which shouldn't take me more than a few minutes to try out ..." She added as she handed him the piece of paper with what he thought was, on the contrary, a rather well written four digits code. 

"Ah well ... you could have been here for quite some time, that's the old one, they changed it a few days ago ..." He replied before entering the correct combination and reaching for the door to open it as a loud beep resounded. "And since I'm on a good day …" He grinned. Honestly he was on quite on an ordinary day of which she probably already was the highlight but he wasn't going to tell her that, he wasn't nearly confident enough for such obvious flirtation. "I'm going to trust you and let you in the building!" He finished as he opened wider and gestured for her to enter. For a moment, he wondered if this was the kind of chivalrous gesture she'd appreciate but her hands were quite occupied with her handbag, a bag that seemed to contain a laptop and a big cardboard box from the bakery around the corner he loved so much, so he supposed it was just common courtesy. 

Giving him another one of those adorable nose scrunching expressions and a wide smile, she came in and they both walked towards the elevator. 

"It's awfully trusting of you to let a stranger inside your building!" She let out with a teasing smile after a moment of silence. "How can you know I'm not some kind of burglar?" She asked and he chuckled. 

"A burglar who has no other means of entering than trying to guess the correct key code, I'd say you're a pretty terrible burglar!" He grinned triumphantly.

"I suppose you have a point …"

"A very well mannered burglar though … Honestly if you bring anything from Cloud Cakes, you're welcome to break into my flat any time you want …" He added with a small nod towards the box she was carrying and she let out a soft watery laugh that might have been the prettiest sound he's heard in a long time and he smiled in satisfaction. 

"Oh … so is it any good? I thought it certainly looked like it but …"

"Have you heard what I just said? I wouldn't mind you getting my all new flat screen TV in exchange for one of their cupcakes!" He exclaimed and she laughed once more. He'd be willing to tell her all his best jokes if she kept laughing at it like that. "And not only 'cause I'm too lazy to go there and wait twenty minutes to be served but because their cakes are the best thing I've ever eaten!" He finished and he realized he sounded a little too enthusiastic considering he was only talking about pastries but from the way she smiled almost fondly, he supposed she didn't really mind. 

As they walked inside the elevator, he was positively surprised to discover that they were going to the same floor. It had to be a sign of the cosmos telling him to keep talking to her, maybe go as far as introducing himself and praying that she had just moved in or at least was visiting someone, ideally someone like the nice old lady in 4D and not their crazy downstairs neighbor who kept knocking with his broomstick every time they made the tiniest bit of noise, but really anyone she'd be visiting really often from now on. (because there was no way he would go as far as asking for her phone number after talking for two minutes, so he would need to stumble upon her at least another four or five times before he found the courage to do it.) 

When they reached the fourth floor, Fitz was frantically raking his brains for something smart or funny to say other than a simple "good evening" or "goodbye and enjoy the cupcakes" but he found out that he didn't need to because she was going the same way, down the long corridor on the right and a mischievous smile tugged at his lips as a somewhat funny -some would say smart ass- thought finally crossed his mind. 

"Are you actually visiting someone or are you like one of those cats that follow you home once you open the door for them?" He asked and she rolled her eyes but before she had the time for any kind of smart retort, she let out an amused "ooooh" of realization like she'd just finally understood a joke someone said hours earlier and he gave her a confused look. 

"You must be Fitz right?" She asked, laughing at his eyes that probably looked like saucers at the moment. 

"Hum … yeah … Do we-do we ... know each other? Cause I usually have quite a good memory and I …" He trailed off. And he would never have forgotten someone like her, he thought. And it was the truth but it sounded so much like a line that he refrained from saying it.

"No ... no we don't but I'm actually here to see Trip, we've been hum … seeing each other for the past two weeks" She said, sounding almost embarrassed for some reason.

Of course. 

"Oh … And he talked to you about me?" Fitz asked, feeling a bit down but still a little curious about why his roommate and best friend would talk about him to the beautiful girl he's been dating for so little time. 

"Yeah, told me you were Scottish, quite funny AND a really smart ass, should have made the connection sooner …"

"Hey!" He cried out in weak outrage, still smiling internally at the fact that she truly did find him funny and didn't laugh at his jokes out of politeness. Trip was apparently a better man than he was if he talked him up to pretty girls when he met them. Or maybe it just had to do with the fact that HE didn't have to feel threatened by his friend's ridiculously impressive physique and ability to be extra smooth with women.

"You're not how I pictured you though, Trip didn't mention you were ... but hum never mind …" she added with a small smile, pulling him out of his temporary reverie and he thought he caught her giving him a quick once over. But before he had the time to decide if this was a compliment or even a bit of flirting or just the complete opposite, she added a bit shyly: "But hum … didn't you … hear about me at all?"

"Hum … no …" He answered without really thinking about it as he was busy fumbling for his keys and her face fell. "Oh no but don't feel bad about it, with Trip's ambulance shifts and me working extra late almost every night, I've barely seen him these past few weeks!" Fitz said hurriedly to reassure her. "If I did, I'm sure he wouldn't have been able to shut up about you …" He added with a slightly teasing smile and her face relaxed into a softer expression.

"Oh … alright then. Well I'm Jemma … at least you know that about me now!" She answered as she kind of clumsily extended her less busy hand for him to shake, which he did with an amused smile. 

"Nice to meet you Jemma"

"It's really nice to meet you too Fitz!" She answered with a warm wide smile as they both walked into the apartment.

God, she was beautiful.

Fitz felt his stomach twist in disappointment. The one time he was interested in a woman, enough to actually talk to her, and she was his best friend's girlfriend. Well at least, he should be comforted by the fact that even though she was beautiful and seemed nice and funny, they probably wouldn't have been compatible on an intellectual level. He loved his best friend and he was smart in his own way -although not genius smart like Fitz was- but the women he usually dated weren't exactly geniuses and he couldn't spend more than a few hours with most of them without being bored to death.

-0-0-0-

Three hours, several cupcakes and a passionate conversation about the latest article in Science Today later, Fitz was pretty sure that Jemma was perfection, or at least his idea of perfection. Even her supposed flaws made her seem more perfect to him. His first impression of her was right but on top of being gorgeous, nice and funny, she was also incredibly smart, a proper genius really. Actually, considering she got her two PHDs by seventeen, she was most likely even smarter than he was and just as passionate about her job as a biochemist as he was about engineering. 

Obviously, making Jemma walk into his life was a sign of the cosmos: a sign that it hated him and wanted him to suffer. 

Honestly he would have been fine ignoring the existence of the most amazing woman in the world rather than being in her presence and not being allowed to at least find out if something would have been possible between them. As he slammed the door and let out a loud sigh, Fitz realized he probably looked and sounded (at least internally) like a tv show cliché teenager. But he'd always been several years younger than all his classmates back in school and he never really had the opportunity to be heartbroken because girls just didn't look at the scrawny little genius that no one ever understood anyway, so he supposed he was just catching up on that. 

As Fitz flopped down on his bed in his boxers -the clothes he wore that day scattered on the floor- and not even bothering to put on pyjama pants or a t-shirt despite how cold it was, he thought he couldn't feel any more bummed out. Of course that was without counting on the cosmos that seemed to be out to get him that night … or most likely on his best friend's stamina. At first, they were barely noticeable noises but soon it turned into breathy moans and whimpers. Obviously Trip didn't bother warning Jemma how thin the walls were in their apartment and even with their bedrooms being separated by the bathroom, he could hear her pleasured noises almost as clearly as if she was in the room. 

As he grabbed a pillow and put it over his face, both to muffle the noises and his own frustrated scream, he considered pushing a bit more and smother himself to death with it to put an end to his misery. But that's when he started noticing that a certain part of his anatomy was reacting quite differently to hearing Jemma in the throes of ecstasy. 

Usually when Trip brought a woman home and she was loud, Fitz mostly felt annoyed so he would either put on very loud music or, depending on the time of day and his own more or less foul mood, he would just scream at them to shut the hell up, which was usually quite effective and kind of satisfying when both Trip and the woman looked a little sheepish and embarrassed the next morning. But as he couldn't help picturing her naked and moving above him with every one of her moans, he was starting to get awfully turned on. Damn her and her tight jeans that gave more than enough fuel for his brain to imagine what was underneath! This really was the ultimate humiliation the cosmos had in store for him.

Come on Fitz, think! Aunt Marge and her moustache pressing loud sticky kisses to your cheeks, professor Vaughn speaking, that poor dead cat's liver, that weird green smoothie Trip's drinking in the morning … oh no no no … that ugly naked guy we can see from the living room, aunt Marge after she smoked a cigar … oh fuck!

As hard as he tried to picture the most horrifying things to make his embarrassing erection go away, Jemma's voice always covered his own thoughts. 

Well, he thought. This one wasn't going to go away on its own anytime soon … 

As he let his right hand descend over his stomach and push his boxers down for what would probably be the saddest most pathetic masturbation of his life, he thought that for once, he'd probably be the one feeling embarrassed the next morning and not at all for the right reasons.


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh bloody hell Trip what's that smell? Did the cookie monster throw up on you?" Fitz cried out as soon as he passed the door. In retrospect, he probably should have kept his mouth shut but he could never resist making fun of his annoyingly perfect best friend. 

"Good evening to you too Fitz!" Trip replied with an annoyed tone and Fitz grinned even wider.

After hanging his jacket on the hook just next to the door, he took a few steps inside the living room to find his friend in a rather unlikely situation that made him chuckle. Trip was surrounded by scraps of bright gift wrapping paper, scotch tape and an insane amount of ribbon. 

"What's happening in here?" He asked, smirking as he flopped down on the couch. 

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Trip replied as he threw scraps oh ribbon on Fitz's curls from his spot on the small table behind the couch. 

"Hey take your hands off me you idiot …" Fitz mumbled as he blindly tried to reach for his friend's wrist to swat his hands away and the more he tried the more it made Trip laugh. 

"Do you know how hard it is to tame those stupid curls?" He finally asked as he turned around to see how his friend was doing. 

"You're telling me, a black man, how hard it is to have curly hair?" Trip replied, his eyebrows raised up to his hairline and Fitz had the decency to blush slightly. He was so used to seing his friend with his hair completely shaved or extra short that he tended to forget those hilarious photos of him as a kid with an impressive mass of hair on his head.

"Oh yeah … well at least you can have them real short or just shave it all, if I do that I'll end up looking like a hooligan or Lex Luthor!" He let out and they both laughed out loud, letting the conversation die for a moment. 

"But seriously man that perfume, don't you think it smells nice?" Trip asked and for a moment Fitz was so stunned by his friend's surprising inability to wrap even a very basic square box that it took him some time to reply.

"Oh no yeah it's fine … if you're a thirteen years old girl … with terrible taste in perfume …" 

"Oh come on …" Trip sighed as he let the scissors fall on the table and momentarily gave up on his attempt at wrapping the incriminating object in front of him.

"Who's it for anyway?"

"Your mom ... I'm taking her out on a date tonight, you know how she always said how handsome I am so I thought ..." He replied waggling his eyebrows exaggeratedly and Fitz groaned. "Well Jemma you idiot, who else would I be offering perfume to? it's her birthday in two days …"

"Oh really? Didn't know that …" Fitz let out in his best attempt at an innocent voice. 

Of course he knew when her birthday was, he knew where she grew up, where she studied, her favorite authors and tv shows and everything she was working on at the moment. Everything he didn't learn directly from her, he found out when he looked her up on the internet. At first, he genuinely only meant to look up a few papers she wrote like he'd told her he would, and did spend countless hours reading them and realizing how truly brilliant she was, but then he found an old Facebook account of hers and he couldn't resist looking it up. And just like everything else about her, it only made him like her even more. Because after three weeks of seing her almost every night or morning at breakfast, he was now a hundred percents positive that she was perfect and the huge crush he'd developed on her pretty much since he met her was now transforming into something else, something scarily intense. Of course it didn't help that every time she lingered a little longer over breakfast when Trip had to leave early or sometimes looked away blushing when he caught her eyes, made him feel like maybe she wasn't completely unaffected by him either.

"So you think this is a bad idea?" Trip asked and for a moment Fitz was tempted to say that he was joking and it was a great idea and let his friend embarrass himself with such a terrible gift. But the possibility of Jemma being so disappointed she'd break up with Trip and declare her love for him instead was quite low and she'd still be disappointed and they would both be embarrassed and it wasn't a nice thing to wish for your best friend and his girlfriend. After all, it wasn't Trip's fault he found the woman of Fitz's dreams before he had the chance to meet her, he had no reason to punish them for that.

"Well Jemma doesn't even wear perfume …" Fitz said, trying to focus on the fact that perfume was a bad idea in general and not this one in particular even though …

"I know that!" Trip replied a bit defensively and Fitz realized that maybe that wasn't the kind of information he was supposed to know about his best friend's girlfriend, especially after only a few weeks. "So I thought she might want to try one …"

"So she didn't tell you why she doesn't wear perfume?"

"Well no … it didn't exactly come up …" Trip rolled his eyes.

"She's actually allergic to most perfumes, some ingredient they use in most of them …" Fitz replied with his best approximation of a sympathetic smile.

And honestly, something with such a strong smell even through a glass bottle and cardboard box shouldn't be near anyone's skin. 

"Oh …" 

"Yeah … that's why she only uses this lavender water on her hair and clothes …" Fitz started without really thinking about it and stopped when he saw the suspicious look and raised eyebrows on Trip's face. "What? She told me about it when she sprayed some of it on me by accident the other day …" Fitz said as he took a sudden interest at the invisible lints on his trousers. Also he might have worn the shirt she sprayed it on for longer than it was reasonable to wear a shirt without washing it. 

Knowing Jemma was clearly turning him into a masochist. Being around her was a kind of sweet torture. It hurt him to see her with Trip, to see her kiss him and be all affectionate with him and he knew he should just try to avoid her as much as he could but he couldn't. The truth was that he'd never felt so intellectually connected to anyone. It wasn't just that they were equally smart, she understood the way his mind worked, and when they started talking, it felt like they'd never run out of things to talk about, wether it was about science or things as trivial as tv shows or all the places they both went to as a child. If only he could put his pesky romantic feelings aside, she could become such a close friend.

"Ah man … what am I gonna do?" Trip sighed loudly, having definitely given up on his attempt at wrapping the bottle of perfume that was completely useless anyway now. "With the extra shifts I have to cover, there's no way I'll have the time to go shopping in the next two days …" He let out and Fitz replied before he even had the time to think about it.

"I could go for you …" 

Apparently making Jemma happy was more important than his own sanity because as he gave a serious thought about what he just said, he realized he really was willing to find a nice gift for her even though he wouldn't even see the smile on her face when she'd discover it and he definitely wouldn't be the one she would thank for it. 

"Oh no man, I can't ask you to do that …" Trip replied as he came to flop down on the couch next to Fitz. 

"No 's fine … I had some shopping to do anyway …" Fitz lied. 

"Okay but … what are you gonna buy? I mean she's my girlfriend and I wouldn't even know where to start …" Trip said a little sheepishly and Fitz chuckled. 

Of course the irony wasn't lost on him. Because she clearly wasn't his girlfriend but he could probably find ten ideas for a nice gift for her just from the top of his head. 

"Well I'll … manage, I'm sure I'll eventually find something she likes … or at the very least something that will not give her a rash …" He grinned and Trip playfully bumped his shoulder. 

"Okay then … thanks man … I'll owe you one! Just ask me anything really …" He said, his voice softening. 

How about you break up with Jemma and let me have a chance to ask her out? Fitz thought. If only things could be so simple … So instead he just said: "Sure mate I'll remember that …" and as he turned around to look at the mess Trip left he added with a smirk: "Bloody hell, for someone who's supposed to be able to save lives for a living, you're really terrible at using your hands mate …" and just managed to avoid Trip's stronger shoulder bump.

-0-0-0-

Fitz was just out of the shower and changing into more comfortable clothes in the hope of sitting on the couch to finish that book he'd started reading weeks ago when the doorbell rang. Letting out a loud sigh, he quickly threw a shirt on and walked towards the door.

"Trip seriously mate, if you keep forgetting your keys all around the city for anyone to find, I don't see the point of installing the best security system in the …" He started shouting through the door but cut himself off as soon as he saw who was on the other side of the door. "Oh … Jemma …"

She was wearing a red dress that wasn't especially short or revealing but it hugged her figure much more closely than her usual blouses and with her heels bringing her almost at an height with him and her slightly heavier make-up, she looked breathtakingly beautiful and he found himself speechless for a moment. 

"For his defense, YOU let anyone into the building so …" She teased.

"Hu?" He could only answer as he tried his best to stop looking at her like he'd seen an alien or something.

"Cause you let me in the building remember?" She said with a tentative smile, slowing down her words like he'd just lost half of his IQ points and from the way he just nodded dumbly, he might just have. "Fitz is everything alright? Do I look weird? I feel a bit weird all dressed up like that, I know Trip said it was a fancy restaurant but ..." 

"Oh no no you don’t you ... you look nice is all ..." Fitz finally cut her off, giving her an awkward little smile before looking down at his feet. Nice didn’t even begin to cover how she looked to him but it would have to do. 

"Oh ... thank you Fitz ..." She answered, blushing pretilly.

"Hum can I ... can I come in?" She asked with an amused lopsided smile when they kept looking at each other without speaking for an awkwardly long moment. 

"Trip's not home!" He blurted out and winced immediately. Great. First he must have looked like a pervert, ogling her so obviously and now he sounded like he didn’t even want her to come in.

"I know but I hum ... I finished work early and I thought I could come here instead of Trip having to hurry to pick me up ..." She started, blushing a bit more for some reason. "But if it’s a problem, I can just wait in his room or at the bar across the street ..."

"No no of course you can come in!" He cut her off quickly. "Sorry I'm just ... never mind it's ... nice to see you ..." He added with a soft smile as he moved to the side to let her in.

"Great 'cause I have something to show you!" She answered with a wide smile as she stepped in and quickly squeezed his arms in excitement. 

The contact of her cold hands on his skin sent a shiver down his spine and it had little to do with the coldness of her skin. Fitz let out a silent sigh as he closed the door behind her and followed her in. God, he really had it bad if such a small contact had such an effect on him.

-0-0-0-

"Oh god it's so pompous …" Fitz groaned as he finished reading and fell back into the couch, closing his eyes to try and erase what he'd just read from his mind.

"No Fitz it's brilliant, I loved it!" Jemma objected as she took the magazine back from him carefully, like it was something precious. He'd told her about his paper on space time theory being published when he was only seventeen and she seemed genuinely interested but he didn't think she'd actually go looking for it. Reading it now, he felt more than a little embarrassed by the quality of it but he also found it really sweet that she went through all this trouble to find it. 

"Oh please it looks like I used the thesaurus on every single word, it's ridiculous!" He cried out and it brought a grin to her face.

"Okay I'll admit the language is a bit exaggeratedly sophisticated but it wasn't even your main field of study and you were only seventeen, you were just trying to compensate to be taken seriously. I did it too you know, always being mindful of every word I said, even wore glasses for two years without needing it, just so that I would look a little older!" She said, rolling her eyes at herself and they both laughed sincerely. It felt so nice knowing someone who went through the same things he did and was able to understand the quirks that made him strange to other people.

"Yeah I guess you're right …" He said, smiling softly. 

"And that's probably why you also went for the ties and old men cardigans …" She added mischievously and his eyes widened in confusion. 

"What … How do you … wait … oh no don't tell me …" He started, taking the magazine back from her and turned the pages to find a relatively small but horrible picture of him at the end of the article. 

"Oh god!" He cried out, quickly closing the magazine with a disgusted look on his face as he flopped back down in the couch cushions.

"Fiiitz it's not so bad!" She said, barely trying to hide her bubbling laughter and he only grunted in response, blindly grabbing a cushion to put over his face. 

"Oh stop being so dramatic ..." She said, trying to sound scolding but was betrayed by the huge amused and fond smile on her face. She seemed to be so used and amused by his antics and softly grumpy moods that sometimes he forgot she was his best friend's girlfriend he'd known for less than a month and not an old friend he'd known for years.

"Oh please will you look at my hair? I looked like a sheep!"

"No I like the curls ... they look so ... soft and ... fluffy ..." She said with a smile that actually seemed genuine. 

"Soft and fluffy ... just how a man wants to be described ..." He said sarcastically and she rolled her eyes. 

"Not you, your hair and actually ..." She trailed off as she moved forward and quickly threaded her fingers through his still slightly damp curls. He was about to indignantly swat her hand away but then he saw her small appreciative smile and something indefinable in her eyes as she held his gaze, so he was only able to look at her with wide eyes. A warm feeling was spreading through his chest at the touch and the closeness of her face and he thought that, had she not been Trip's girlfriend, this would have looked a lot like a signal that she wanted him to kiss her, even to someone like him who'd always been so bad at detecting them.

"Yeah … really soft … and they smell like a meadow in the spring …" She said with a bold little smile that was a bit contradicted by the slight blush that started attacking her cheeks when she realized they probably weren't supposed to be close enough for this kind of physical contact. "You should let them grow a bit actually, you can barely feel the curls at all as they are right now …" She added as she moved back and he felt at the same time relieved and a little disappointed that the moment had passed. 

"Yeah sure and spend hours trying to tame them every morning …" He mumbled, rolling his eyes at her. 

"I'm sure it'd be worth it, I would have given anything to have such luscious curl when I was seventeen!" She added, somehow strangely intent on convincing him that thick curly hair was a good thing. 

"Oh please, like you needed that, I'm sure you were just as gorgeous back then!"

The words left his mouth without him really thinking about it and it's only when he saw the look of surprise on her face followed by a blinding smile that he realized what he said. It was so obvious to him that it didn't even feel like a compliment, just a simple statement. But she apparently didn't think so because her cheeks took an even more pinkish tint that made her look prettier if such a thing was possible. 

After a short strangely tense moment of silence, he cleared his throat, desperate to change the subject. 

"So you …hum you really liked that paper?" He asked a little shyly.

"Yeah, most brilliant thing I've read in a long time!" She replied with an enthusiastic smile he would have sworn was also a bit flirtatious if they weren't talking about science. 

-0-0-0-

"No I just can't believe that our whole life is planned in advance, you can always do something to change your destiny ..." Jemma declared as she huffed in slight exasperation and slouched down in the couch in a rather ungraceful way that contrasted quite comically with her smart outfit. 

"Well that’s the thing with the spacetime theory Jemma, if you do something to change what you thought was your destiny, it just means your destiny was to do that all along." He replied with a slightly smug smile. 

"Urgh Fitz that's such a depressing way to live your life ..." 

"It's not a philosophy of life, it's a scientific theory, it's not like I said I was a buddhist or something!" He replied. 

"Exactly it's a theory. I'm a biochemist, we like tangible facts ..." 

"And dissecting poor dead animals. .." He cut her off and she rolled her eyes. "Anyway you need to theorize first if you want to prove something and make scientific breakthrough!" 

"Well my theory is that you’re infuriating!" She replied while grabbing a cushion and sending it to his face with a wide grin but before he had the time to retaliate, they were cut off by another voice. 

They were so focused on their conversation that even Jemma barely turned around to acknowledge Trip's presence when he came home, something Fitz had felt childishly happy about -he didn't have her love but he still had all her attention when it came to science- and now, they hadn't even realized he was out of the bathroom, wearing fresh clothes and, at least to Fitz's opinion, a very agressive cologne. 

"I'd usually agree with you on principle but what did he do just now to be so infuriating?" Trip asked with a wide grin and Fitz huffed in annoyance. 

"Oh nothing, just his obsession with the theory of spacetime, I mean it is fascinating …" She started as she suddenly straightened up on the couch and stood up. He hadn't realized how close she'd gotten to him once more as they spoke and he chastised himself. It was dangerous to let himself get this comfortable with Jemma. Just because she was also being extra friendly to him didn't mean she wanted him to be creepy. With time, he hoped he could get over this really huge crush on her and they could become real friends. 

"Oh I'm gonna stop you right there!" Trip cut her off with a chuckle. "Heard this one already, don't want to get into that again!" He added and Fitz rolled his eyes but he couldn't really blame him, that was how most people reacted to it and that was why Jemma was so special. 

"Well at least, with the way you two are always bickering and never agreeing on anything, I shouldn't fear you trying to steal my girlfriend!" Trip said as he got closer to Jemma and looped his arms around her waist in a possessive way. 

Fortunately, Fitz's coughing fit was almost covered by Jemma's extremely awkward and loud fit of laughter, that got even weirder when their gaze locked on each other. For a second, he thought he saw something in her eyes, some kind of fondness laced with sadness. Was it just Jemma acknowledging Fit's feelings for her and feeling sorry about it because she only saw him as a friend or was there also something on her side? It wasn't the first time he thought he felt a little spark between them but he always convinced himself it was just wishful thinking. He would have asked for another opinion but the only person he knew that also knew Jemma was Trip and it wasn't the kind of questions he could ask him casually.

"Well at least I think we can both agree on the fact that this shirt is bloody ridiculous!" Fitz added with a smirk before Trip had the time to catch up on the awkwardness of the situation he just created. 

"Oh please man, what are you wearing right now?" He replied with a raised eyebrow and Fitz noticed that Jemma took this opportunity to turn away from him, apparently to look for something in her handbag. 

"First, this Doctor Who t-shirt is awesome and I'm not wearing it to go on a date anyway!" 

"I saw you wear a plaid shirt to go on a date Fitz, I don't think I need your advice when it comes to fashion …" The tall man said with a smug grin and Fitz rolled his eyes. Sometimes, Fitz regretted saying that he'd missed having a brother or sister growing up when he saw the way Trip never forgot any of even his smallest mistakes. "I'm going to wear this because that shirt is damn fine …"

"Damn fine if you wanna make a rabbit disappear!" Fitz cut him off and Trip gave him a slightly confused look. "You look like a bloody magician!" He added and his smile only turned wider when he realized that Jemma was just using her handbag as an excuse so Trip wouldn't see her laugh. 

"What?! No come on Jemma, tell him that shirt is fine, please!" Trip said as he gently grabbed Jemma's hand for her to face him. 

"Hum well it's … yeah I suppose it's …" She started, biting her lip not to smile too wide and Fitz couldn't help smiling triumphantly as he waited for her to agree with him. "It's … I'll have to admit it's a bit … shiny …" She finished tentatively and Fitz burst out laughing. It was actually quite adorable the way she tried not to be too mean about it but seeing Trip's smug smile being wiped off his face was just too funny. 

He supposed it wasn't very nice of him but Trip got to take the woman of his dreams on a date so he decided he could at least have a little harmless fun at his expense. 

"But hum I don't know, maybe where you're taking me, it's perfectly fine to wear that and …"

"Please say no more!" He cut her off with a gentle roll of his eyes. "I'm going to change shirt, I'll only be a minute …"

"Okay … that's a nice suit though." She added with a soft smile before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. It was almost chaste really but it was enough to remind him that even though she might agree with him on so many things, in the end, Trip was the one to take her on a date. Sighing softly, he turned around and settle back deeply into the couch. 

Tonight would be another night of pizza, beer and browsing the web to find the courage to sign up for an online dating site and somehow ending up skyping with his friend Daisy who would try and set him up with all the single women she kept meeting all the time. Fitz considered it a personal victory when he met one new person every few months and managed to see him or her again a second time when Daisy seemed to have at least ten new friends every time he spoke to her. Honestly, he didn't even know how she remembered all of their names.

Lost in thoughts as he was, he didn't hear Jemma come behind him and bend over the back of the couch so her face was really close to his. 

"You know, I really like this Doctor Who t-shirt …" She half whispered into his ear, sending shivers down his spine and causing a wide smile to tuck at his lips. "And I really don't see what's wrong with plaid shirts …" She added. 

"Oh really?" He asked with an amused tone as he turned around to look at her, realizing too late how big of a mistake it was since it brought his face even closer to hers. Seeing every speck of gold inside her chocolate eyes and feeling her hot breath on his lips really didn't help.

"Yeah … just couldn't say it earlier … was a bit scared that Antoine the magnificent would try and saw us both in half …" She grinned and they both burst out laughing. 

Their laughter redoubled when Trip came out of his room with a smart but much less funny white shirt and asked what they were laughing about. She laughed so hard that in the end, Jemma even had to go to the bathroom to fix her makeup before they left for the restaurant. Fitz didn't remember seeing her laugh this hard and freely before and it was at least a little comfort to know that he was the one to share that with her.


	3. Chapter 3

The good thing about getting used to never sleeping more than five or six hours a day was that Fitz could easily spend half his night watching Doctor Who and still be up at seven and have a very productive day. The bad thing about never sleeping more than five or six hours a day was that when he went to bed early to avoid hearing his roommate come home with the potential love of his life was that at 3 AM, he was wide awake and couldn't find sleep again. 

Having tried every trick supposed to help you fall asleep he could think of, Fitz let out a loud sigh, pushed the covers away and stood up. There were always some weird but strangely mesmerizing shows, documentaries and animated series on TV in the middle of the night. That was how he kind of got addicted to Spongebob Squarepants when he moved to New York and had a hard time adjusting to the time difference. But just as he was about to open the door, he heard voices coming from the living room. 

"Urgh!" Fitz sighed. Could Jemma and Trip still be up at this time of night? Whatever they did they had a room for God's sake … 

"Urgh urgh urgh" Fitz groaned once more as he let his head hit the wall. Why did his brain have to stray towards such painful ideas and images all the time?   
When his ear got closer to the wall though, he noticed that it wasn't actually voices he could hear coming from the living room but just one female voice. As he started to wonder why Jemma was speaking on her own, he realized that it wasn't her voice or accent and it was most likely coming from the TV. Deciding that it was almost certainly Jemma -Trip always slept like a log and could never stay up late unless he had a night shift- he wondered if it was a good idea to come out of his room. It was always nice spending time with her, the hour they spent talking earlier had been more than nice in fact and that was exactly the problem. The more they got to spend time together, the more he started getting ideas every time she said something nice, touched him even in the most innocent way or just shared a look with him that lasted just a little longer than it should have. 

Well, he wasn't going to fall asleep again anytime soon and now his brain was stuck on her, he might as well actually be with her. 

"Hey!" He said in a soft low voice as he came out of his room, trying his best not to startle her since her back was to him where she lay half lying down on the couch. 

"Oh hi …" She answered in a voice just as low and soft. "Oh sorry did I wake you up? Is it too loud?" She asked when she saw his bed hair and the way he squinted his eyes to adjust to the light. He might have been awake for some time but he'd remained in the dark all this time.

"Oh no I was awake. Couldn't sleep anymore and then I heard the TV so …" He answered as he flopped down next to her after she moved back a little against the armrest to give him more room with a small inviting smile. Apparently, she always seemed happy to spend time with him, even at such a time of night and that didn't help him trying to get over his huge crush. It's only then that he noticed she was wearing one of Trip's boxer shorts and one of his t-shirts he thought he'd lost some time ago. He knew it was ridiculously possessive but he'd always loved when his girlfriends stole his clothes in the morning. There was something very pleasing and sexy about thinking that a woman wanted to have his smell on her. Well, in this case, considering he hadn't been wearing it for months, it probably only smelt of detergent and now, herself. Which was just as sexy anyway. Or would be if she actually knew it was his t-shirt and did it on purpose. 

He must have been staring for some time because she was now looking at him with a confused and slightly embarrassed expression. "Great!" Fitz thought. "Now she must be thinking you're a pervert, staring at what's under the t-shirt!" 

"Fitz?" She asked tentatively.

"Oh sorry, I wasn't staring at your … your-at you … just …" He started, blushing and stuttering like an idiot and he could see the beginning of a grin tugging at her lips, which didn't exactly help. 

"I didn't think you were …" She started but he cut her off before she could make him blush even more. 

"You're wearing my t-shirt!" He finally blurted out. 

"Oh …" She breathed out and he thought he saw the beginning of an adorable blush creep up her own face as she looked down then back up at him. "But I found it in Trip's closet, I thought it was weird he had a Doctor Who t-shirt but …" 

"Yeah must have put it in the wrong laundry basket or something. Thought I'd lost it months ago, 's one of my favorites …" He said smiling childishly. Even years later, that ridiculously cute drawing of a Dalek still made his heart melt a little. 

"Do you want it back?" She cut him off.

"No!" He cried out then winced, hoping he didn't wake up Trip. The last thing he needed to fuel his pathetic fantasies was to see her half naked. "I mean you don't need to ... not now … definitely not now, you can hum … later yeah?" He finished lamely, his tone almost pleading and wondering if he even managed to get a single coherent idea out of his head. He thought he did because she was looking at him with a soft smile on her face but it might as well have been the kind of smile people have when a two years old tries to speak and you just nod and smile because it doesn't make any sense at all. 

"No of course I didn't mean right this instant … more in the lines of getting one of Trip's t-shirts and then give you back this one … but thanks for being a gentleman though …" She grinned as she playfully nudged his thigh with the tip of her toes and he chuckled a bit self depreciatively. 

Idiot. Of course she didn't want to strip before him.

"Yeah I'm great like that …" He joked. "… but it's alright really, keep it for now …" He added and she smiled widely. 

"Thank you Fitz … I should have known it was yours!"

"Because it's three sizes smaller than anything Trip can wear?" 

"Because all of Trip's t-shirts are kind of boring" She answered, her eyes shining in amusement and he grinned back at her. "... or shiny" She added in a lower voice and they both burst out laughing. 

"Hush Jemma you'll wake him up!" He said, teasingly poking at her calf that had somehow remained half on his lap. 

"Oh please he's sleeping like a log right now!" She replied, rolling her eyes as she tried to nudge him with her foot once more but he caught it before she could and held it up like a trophy with a wide grin on his face. 

"Fitz!" She hissed. "Give me back my foot!" 

"Nope, caught it, it's mine now!" 

The idea that he really shouldn't be this comfortable touching his best friend's girlfriend crossed his mind but the way she tried to menacingly glare at him was just too adorable for him to care. 

"Fine!" She finally let out, shrugging nonchalantly and extending her other leg. "Then get the other one as well, I could use a nice foot massage …" She said with a smirk and a defiant tone. But he could swear he saw something else in her eyes: some kind of hesitation mixed with hope. Like she wanted him to give her a massage but not sure if that was something they were "allowed" to do, wondering if that would push back their boundaries too much and whatever Fitz thought he could sometimes see between them would become too obvious to ignore. 

Except for his brain capacities, Fitz didn't exactly have a huge ego but one thing he knew was that he was really good with his hands, to tinker with very fine machinery and … other things. And it was late and he didn't feel like fighting with himself for once. He wasn't doing anything wrong after all and well, if she was the one asking for it …

"Alright …" He grinned, letting her distractingly perfectly shaped legs rest on his lap as he used his thumbs to start applying a little pressure on the balls of her foot where he knew she probably needed it the most considering she'd been wearing high heels all evening. "But I've been told I'm really good at it so … don't complain if you can't ever appreciate another foot massage in your life!" 

"Mmmhmm …" She almost moaned as he apparently found a spot that was especially achy. Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment and this was possibly the most erotic thing he'd ever heard or seen. "Yes that is … really nice … I suppose I'll have to ask you every time I need one now …" 

Her voice was a little breathy and her smile definitely more seductive than teasing as she looked him in the eyes. At this point, he might have been dreaming all of this but it felt like she was really flirting now. And as he kept massaging her, slowly going down to find more sensitive spots, he couldn't help remembering Daisy once drunkenly giving him a lecture on feminine pleasure and erogenous zones and insisting that a foot massage was by far way more sexual than any other kind of massage. He'd laughed at the idea at the time but now he could definitely see it and he wished he's had the opportunity to test the theory earlier on someone who wasn't his best friend's girlfriend whom he had more than a little crush on.

Deciding that it might be safer to focus on something else, lest it might get truly embarrassing with her foot so close to his groin, he cleared his throat and turned around to look at the TV screen. 

"So hum … why are you up?" 

"Oh …" She let out, sounding almost disappointed. "There was this documentary I've been wanting to see for some time …"

"At three in the morning?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Well I don't decide when it's aired …" She huffed with a small roll of her eyes.

"You know there are ways to records TV programs and watch them later, right?" He teased and grinned when he apparently found another sensitive spot on the arch of her foot and he could see goosebumps forming all over the skin of her leg. She tried to play it cool but he could see her earlier blush come back with a vengeance. 

"I know!" She huffed indignantly once more and nudged his thigh with her other foot. "It'll be ready to watch when I come home but I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to wake Trip up …" She said, looking almost embarrassed. "... by turning on the light or looking at something on my phone and he's working early so … anyway I-I thought I might as well get up and watch it now." 

"Oh right … so what's so interesting about it that you would … oh monkeys!" Fitz interrupted himself and Jemma chuckled fondly. 

"Yeah there's that … but more generally it's about the amazon and the impact of deforestation on the fauna and flora there, it's supposed to be really beautiful and heartbreaking." 

"Oh …" Just thinking about it was heartbreaking actually. 

"Do you want to switch channels? I can watch it at home tomorrow …" 

"Oh no no, that does sound really interesting … Actually I think it might be the one my friend Hunter mentioned recently. Said it would change my way of thinking on a lot of things … which is kind of scary for someone who always acts like he doesn't care about anything …" Fitz let out wistfully. 

"Don't worry I'll hold your hand if it gets too scary …" She said half teasing, half … something else. But for his sanity, Fitz chose to see only the teasing part and just huffed as he voluntarily grazed the very soft skin in the middle of her foot, making her squirm and giggle for a moment. 

After a few minutes of bickering and extremely childish behavior though, they finally managed to focus on the documentary. Just as Jemma said, it really was interesting and beautiful and unlike most people who ended up watching a documentary with Fitz, she didn't mind that he added his own commentary when it came to monkeys. In fact, to his surprise, she even asked more questions when she realized just how much he knew about them. 

After twenty minutes of watching and despite what was quite possibly the cutest most irresistible pout, Fitz let go of her feet, his hands getting really too tired to continue. And as she hummed contentedly and said that she owed him one, he decided to act like it was nothing while strangely feeling like somehow he was the one "owing her one".

After ten more minutes, they both agreed that it was indeed scary and heartbreaking and somehow, without Fitz realizing it, one of them moved or maybe both of them and Jemma ended up as close to him as possible without seating on his lap, their sides and thighs touching and her head resting on his shoulder. For the millionth time since he met her, he felt like their behavior was too friendly to be just friendly but the moment was so precious and delicate that he decided not to analyze it too much and just remain that way, staying as still as possible like she was a deer coming to greet him in the forest and he might scare her away if he moved too quickly. 

He also reminded himself that he should never tell her about that comparison because she would most likely hate it and roll her eyes all the way to the back of her head. 

As the documentary was coming to an end and they were both teary eyed and leaning even closer against each other, they heard Trip's door opening. If Fitz still needed confirmation that the way Jemma and him acted around each was maybe a little ambiguous, the way she instinctively pulled away from Fitz looking quite guilty, that was probably it. 

"Hey guys! Having a party without me?" The tall man asked with a teasing tone and Fitz felt irrationally angry that his friend was so confident about his relationship with Jemma that he didn't even pretend to be jealous. Like Fitz wasn’t even a serious competition anyway despite all the time they spent together.

"Couldn’t sleep and then I heard the TV and apparently ..."

"... I couldn’t sleep either so we're watching this documentary!" Jemma finished for him, giving him a quick side smile.

"Oh well ... if you need something to lull you back to sleep Jemma, I can help with that ..." Trip said with a predatory smile and before Jemma could answer, Fitz made a fake gagging noise. 

"Are you going to tell her about your last training session? Cause it worked wonders for me, never fell asleep quicker than this!" 

"Ah ah that's hilarious dude!" He said, rolling his eyes but Fitz could still see Jemma's lips tick up in a knowing smile. She obviously had to suffer through one of those stories herself.

"It should be over soon, you can go back to bed, I’ll join you in a minute." Jemma told Trip with a wide smile that felt a little exaggerated.

"Alright then …" He replied, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge before walking towards the couch. "…don’t be too long …" He added with one more of those predatory smiles that made Fitz want to actually throw up a bit. And what did they say about always wearing a t-shirt when in the common areas of the apartment? Honestly, he didn’t need to be reminded of his own absence of muscles on a daily basis by seeing Trip showing off his own body.

At least, the way Jemma cut short what Trip probably expected to be a much more heated kiss and ended up being a relatively chaste thing made Fitz feel a little bit better and maybe a little bit mean. Because whatever Trip had in mind for whenever Jemma came back to bed, it was definitely not what she had in mind considering the way she exuded embarrassment. She often did that whenever Trip engaged in physical display of affection, at least in Fitz’s presence. She didn’t seem like someone prudish so did she suspect Fitz’s feeling and was just trying to spare him or was there something else there?

Maybe this was all a punishment for making fun of Dawson’s Creek so much when his friends were watching it because now he felt like he was living in it, questioning every single move he and Jemma made and having cheap philosophical debates with himself on a daily basis.

-0-0-0-

"Wanna watch something else?" Jemma asked ten minutes later when the credits rolled on the documentary. 

"But I .. I thought you said Trip you’d come back to bed when this is over …" Fitz replied, careful not to turn his head because in the last ten minutes, she’d managed to put her head back on his shoulder and it would have brought their faces way too close to each other. And with the late hour, the smell of her hair, the low sexy tone of her voice and the tender way she so often looked at him, he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t do something extremely stupid like trying to kiss her. 

"Oh no, it’s been ten minutes, he’s probably snoring already and I don’t feel like going back to bed right now!" She replied and again Fitz tried not to come to any conclusion about the fact that Jemma preferred watching TV with her head on his shoulder rather than being in bed with her boyfriend. "So what do you say? Wanna see if we can find some weird animated series to watch?" She insisted with an enthusiastic tone and he almost confessed his love for her there and then.

But instead, he managed an amused: "Yeah sure!" 

Five minutes later, they were both giggling stupidly watching Patrick Star’s antics (and Fitz was starting to fear his addiction might come back) when Jemma turned around to look up at Fitz. 

"Hum by the way Fitz, I wanted to thank you …" She said and Fitz looked down at her like he said he wouldn’t but her sentence took him by surprise and he was confused. 

"For watching Spongebob with you?" He answered and she chuckled. 

"Well I guess that too, not everyone would do it … but also for my birthday gift …" She added more softly. 

"Oh well … it’s not much and I wasn’t sure you’d still be hungry for cupcakes after dinner but you liked them so much the last time … » Fitz answered shrugging, not saying that he did spend half an hour waiting in line to get her favorite despite the fact that he really REALLY hated waiting in line. 

"One’s always hungry for such delicious cupcakes …" She answered as she pulled away from him to turn around so she could look him in the eyes better, which was a good thing, safer at least, but it still felt colder without her body against his side. "… so yeah … thank you for that but hum … also for the book Fitz…" She finished with a knowing smile and he knew it was probably useless to act innocent but he still tried. 

"Wh … hum what-what book are you talking about?" He stuttered and if there was still a chance she would believe him, the way he avoided her gaze was a dead giveaway. 

"Please Fitz! I know he probably means well but Trip obviously didn’t chose that book. He gave it to me saying he knew I’ve watched the DVD the other day and he thought I’d like to read the book as well …" Jemma said with an eyebrow raised in defiance. Like she challenged him to try and keep insisting he wasn’t the one who bought it, so he chose to shrug a little sheepishly instead. Even though he was really annoyed that Trip didn’t even remember what he’d told him about it being a first edition. "Of course, he didn’t know that I’d been watching the movie because you and I talked about Contact being my favorite book the other day …" She added and her face remained unreadable. Well, he might as well come clean …

"Ok fine, of course I chose the book but it’s only because Trip had to work and what he’d bought at first wouldn’t have… it just wasn’t a good idea … Did he mention that it was …"

"A first edition? No but I recognized it immediately Fitz!" She cried out and there was a big smile on her face so he supposed she wasn’t mad that they both lied to her. "My dad has one, he always jokes that I’ll steal it from him someday … now I don’t have to anymore …" She finished, looking at him with a smile that was so tender it made his heart flutter and break a little at the same time. 

"So do you … like it?" Fitz asked timidly. 

"Oh Fitz …" She sighed before moving forward and gently cupping his cheek and for a moment it felt like his heart stopped or beat out of his chest, he couldn’t be sure. Then biting her lip, she seemed to hesitate for what felt like hours but was probably only a few seconds and finally pressed a kiss to his cheek, lingering a moment longer than she probably should have. 

"Jemma?" He breathed out, apparently incapable of taking his eyes away from her and cursing himself internally for the shakiness of his voice. 

"That’s a beautiful gift Fitz, you are … it’s amazing ... really …" She let out, her voice soft and a little low and only when he looked down and realized her palm was still on his cheek did she pull it away but not before delicately thumbing the apple of his cheek. 

"But really … thanks for the cupcake as well, I know how much you hate waiting in line …" She added and they both chuckled as they turned back towards the TV, trying to ignore the very noticeable blush on both their cheeks.

After that, they didn’t talk much. Jemma’s head somehow found her place back on his shoulder as they kept watching Spongebob while ignoring the overwhelming tension between them. Only when he felt her starting to nod off against him did Fitz suggested she should go to bed. Which she did with a strange almost resigned smile and not before giving him another small kiss on the cheek, leaving him feeling giddy and completely lost at the same time. 

As he finally found the strength to move and walk back to his room, he thought that maybe that was how he was going to feel all the time from now on: confused and exhilarated and sad all at the same time and he should just accept it.


	4. Chapter 4

"We’re gonna head home man, you comin' with us?" Trip asked, his booming voice interrupting Fitz in his musings. He chuckled when Fitz jumped in surprise, which did nothing to better the Scot's sour mood. 

"No I’m gonna stay a little longer I’ll take a cab later …" He replied, his voice as neutral as he could muster, but considering how bad he’d always been at hiding his feelings and the look on Trip’s face, his irritation must have shown. 

"You sure? You look tired …" The tall man insisted and somehow the concerned look in his eyes annoyed Fitz even more than his amusement from a few seconds ago. 

"I’m not tired, I’m just pale, I’m Scottish remember?" 

"Wow wow … don’t bite my head off man!" Trip exclaimed, taking a few steps back like he was actually handling a wild animal. "Maybe you’ve had enough to drink don’t you …" 

"Hey why don’t you mind your own business? I’m 25, I think I’m old enough to know when to stop drinking and when I want to go home… Why do you want me to come so bad anyway? Need me to keep your girlfriend entertained or something? Is she getting bored with you?"

Once more, Fitz tried to pass it as a joke but his smile was tense and he could immediately feel how aggressive it came out because obviously Trip was right, those last two drinks were definitely too much. Fitz was an honest drunk and it was going to get much harder to keep the bitterness out of his tone and his mouth shut about certain feelings towards a specific person who, fortunately, was already waiting outside the bar. She was obviously much more perceptive than her boyfriend because she’d stopped trying to engage in conversation with Fitz half an hour after he showed up at the bar. 

Apparently Trip had decided that their relationship was serious enough to introduce Jemma to their larger circle of friends and if Jemma had agreed to it, it was clear he'd been reading her completely wrong. She was obviously quite invested in her relationship with Trip and whatever she felt for Fitz, friendship or even pity for the fool in love that he was, it clearly wasnt anything romantic. And to make matters worse, everyone in the group loved her immediately, which only served to remind Fitz how wonderful she was. Other than her obvious charm and friendliness, Hunter was over the moon to have another Brit in the group, Bobbi that she was a scientist and Daisy because she was absolutely adorable (a statement Fitz could only agree to) and she burned Hunter about football (actual football, not american, Fitz and Jemma had insisted at the same time in one of their rare moments of connection of the evening.)

So if their relationship was meant to last, Fitz had decided that he should protect his heart. Which meant trying to avoid her as much as he could until maybe he'd forget how amazing she was. He could even meet someone else, finally accept going on another blind date with one of Daisy's friends, anything other than keep spending very good but very confusing and heartbreaking moments with the woman he loved and who was dating his best friend. 

"Right ..." Trip let out dryly, the severe look so rarely seen on his friend's face telling Fitz he'd managed to anger him. "Be like that … I don’t know what’s wrong with you tonight but I don't think another drink is the solution … and don’t expect me to help with tomorrow’s hangover!" He added, shaking his head in disapproval then walked away after exchanging a few words of goodbye with the rest of the group, leaving Fitz to sulk on his own, looking down into his almost empty pint like it could give him the answer to all his problems.

"What the hell Fitz?!" Daisy cried out as she punched his shoulder the second Trip was out of hearing distance. 

"Ouch!" He shrieked both out of surprise and actual pain. Daisy had gotten freakishly strong since she started training with Bobbi and her scary aunt Melinda but the pained look on his face did nothing to appease her and she just barreled on.

"Why are you acting like an asshole? Have you been hanging out with Ward again? Do I need to remind you what he’s …" Daisy started but Fitz cut her off, properly horrified at the idea. 

"NO! No Daisy, are you crazy? Haven’t seen him in years, he might be dead for all I know …" 

"Then what?" She insisted, her face showing a little annoyance and anger but also a good amount of worry now. She knew him well after all and knew that it wasn’t like him to act like he did all night. He could be grumpy for sure, even snarky but he was never mean without being provoked first. He knew he’d taken the right decision, that in the long term, it would be better for everyone but now Trip and Daisy were half worried, half angry at him and Jemma probably thought he hated her  
, based on the confused and pained look on her face the few times he was forced to make eye contact with her. And suddenly, the alcohol always having the tendency to bring all his emotions to the surface, he felt himself tearing up because however bad he was trying to be a good friend, he felt like a really terrible one at the moment and he had no way out. 

"Nothing … I just need some air" He finally replied before quickly standing up and walking towards the door, not bothering to grab his coat despite the cold weather, too much in a hurry to escape Daisy and the others before they could see the state he was in. Angrily wiping his eyes as the first tears rolled down his face, he pushed the door to the bar, where he was met by a cloud of smoke, and took a few steps to the side. Fortunately, it was a Friday night and the bar was packed, making it difficult for anyone to find their way out without having to charge like a bull, which meant he had at least a minute to compose himself before Daisy would undoubtedly follow him out and insist on getting explanations. 

"Fitz! Come on dude …" Daisy cried out as she passed the door barely a few seconds later. Apparently he’d underestimated her. Getting closer to him, he feared she was going to punch him once more but instead she, quite gently, grabbed one of his arms he didn’t realize he’d crossed over his chest and forced him to turn around and look at her. 

"I know you’re not an asshole so if you’re acting like one, it means there’s something wrong. I mean Trip even asked me to watch over you and make sure you don’t drink too much ... I didn't even know it could be a problem …" 

"Of course!" Fitz let out, chuckling humorlessly. "Perfect Trip, acting like a perfect friend with his perfect life and his perfect girlfriend …"

"Yeah about that! Trip said you and Jemma were usually like two nerdy peas in a pod and you’ve been stone cold to her all night. Is there something wrong with her? Is that why you’re so super grumpy?" 

"No Daisy, there’s nothing wrong with her, she’s bloody perfect and that’s the problem!"

The words flew out of his mouth before he had the time to think about it and he was grateful for the music and loud giggles coming from the group of smokers in front of the bar or he might have attracted a lot more attention than he wanted to when he literally shouted the words at Daisy’s face. Of course, he regretted them the moment he saw the knowing look in Daisy’s eyes. He’d been waiting to talk about his situation with someone for a while, and now that Daisy had finally met Jemma, it should have been the right time. Except that now he knew for sure Jemma wasn’t interested in him that way, so why bother talking about it? 

"Oh Fitz …" 

But then the soft sad tone in his friend’s voice seemed to break a dam within him and it was like his mouth had a mind of its own.

"Do you know she spent her last birthday volunteering at the food bank and that she had two PHDs before she turned seventeen? And she’s a fan of Doctor Who and likes to watch weird animated series with me in the middle of the night and doesn't mind me talking about monkeys for hours and she’s just ... she …."

Daisy’s arms were around his shoulders before the first sob even had the time to come out of his mouth. Wounding his arms loosely around her waist, he let his head fall on her shoulder, grateful that it was her out of everyone else holding him in this moment. They’d seen each other way worse back when that sordid affair with Ward happened and brought them much closer than they used to be. He also knew that whatever he would tell her, she would never judge him. And if he had no choice now but to come clean about the feelings he’d been hiding for almost two months now, at least she was probably the right person to talk to. 

"What I am gonna do Daisy?" He asked a few minutes later, his voice small and ragged but steady, the sobs having finally subsided. The soothing circles she’d been rubbing with her hand on his back having helped bring his heart beat back to something more reasonable. 

Daisy gave his hair an affectionate ruffle before gently moving away from him to look him in the eye. 

"Do you think she feels the same?" She asked softly and the look in his eyes seemed like enough of an answer because she continued without waiting for an actual word to come out of his mouth. "Did something happen?" 

"No!" He cried out. "Of course no!" 

"Yeah thought so …" She answered with a small smile. At least it was a small comfort to know his friend didn’t think he was the kind of friend who would do that, even though he did think about it a lot. "Doesn’t surprise me honestly … I mean that you have feelings for each other … I spent like four hours with her and all the time I kept telling myself how perfect she is for you. She’s a lot like you but more … English and cheerful … she’d be good for you, make you less of a grump …"

"Well thanks Daisy for describing my perfect and impossible relationship with Jemma …"

"Oh come on now ... stop being ..."

"No it's probably for the best." He cut her off. "She's too perfect for me and Trip's my best friend, I couldn’t do that to him anyway ..."

"Maybe she should have a say in it ..." Daisy countered. 

"No I ... I'm probably getting ideas anyway, she wouldn't meet all his friends if she wasn't serious about the relationship ..." Fitz let out in a small voice, too tired to really fight.

"Then just talk to her... and him or both at the same time, I don't know but just do something about it so you know if there's even a chance and before you end up doing something very stupid. Worst case scenario you get to move on, come to my place, drink a lot of beer and then we'll get you a date with one of my friends who can't stop gushing about your supposedly sexy accent! Best case scenario, well ..."

"No Daisy that's crazy!" He replied, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands to try and keep the alcohol induced fuzziness at bay. "I'm not gonna go to my best friend's girlfriend, confess my undying love for her and hope for the best ..." 

"Crazier than passing on a chance at happiness with the potential love of your life because what? Because Trip called dibs?" 

"Urghh!" Fitz groaned as he let his head fall on her shoulder once more. Chuckling fondly, she gave his biceps a gentle squeeze.

"Undying love? That bad hu?" She asked, her voice slightly teasing but soft. 

"Yeah ..." He chuckled nervously, his insides twisting in dread but also a tiny bit in excitement at the possibility of actually telling Jemma how he felt. "I guess alcohol makes me a little dramatic but .... yeah .... no use denying it now."

Sighing, Daisy let her head fall on top of his head in what felt like a sympathetic gesture, a way to say "been there done that". After all he knew her romantic life hadn't exactly been simple these past few years.

"Well I don't want to give you false hopes or anything, after all I did only meet her a few hours ago but I really don't think she's into him as much as you think." 

"Uh?" Was all he could utter in his tired and slightly drunken state, a tiny hope still rising inside of him against his best instincts. 

"She's never the one to initiate physical contact, at first I thought she was just shy or a little prude but after the things she told us, prudishness is definitely out of the question ...." Daisy trailed off with a small grin. 

Fitz could still feel himself blushing about the way she described, with plenty of details and examples, the best way to achieve female orgasm. Hunter thought he would embarrass the new comer in the group by bringing up this article he read but of course that was without counting on Jemma’s scientific mind who could never be embarrassed about anything that was "a very natural and enjoyable part of human biology". Had he not been too busy trying to block out all the images she put in his mind and that he could associate with the sounds that were already haunting his dreams and fantasies, he would have grabbed a pen and paper and taken notes. But still, he’d been so focused on trying to analyze the way Jemma acted with him that he never stopped to watch how she interacted with Trip. Honestly, most of the time, he tried not to see them interact at all. But now that Daisy mentioned it, he had to admit he didn’t remember her going for a hug or a kiss in a long time in his presence. Of course there was that time on her birthday where she cut short a kiss he meant to be much less chaste and there were at least a few more instances since then but ...

"And of course, there's the looks ..." Daisy added.

"What looks? How is she looking at him?" 

"Not him, you!"

"Me?"

"Yes of course you! Are you blind?" She let out, rolling her eyes at her friend’s obliviousness and he just shrugged. "I don’t know what they mean exactly but she’s looking at you all the freaking time! The look on her face when you so rudely ignored her every attempt at conversation ... I would have hugged her if I knew her better! But those other looks she threw at you … damnnnn! I mean, can’t blame her, who would resist such a pretty face …" Daisy said, punctuating her words by playfully pinching his cheeks. "… but I would bet a lot of money that it’s way beyond physical attraction anyway."

"How much money?" 

"Like … fifty bucks … at least!"

"Wow, now I’m completely convinced. We'll be sending wedding invitations very shortly!" He retorted sarcastically and she chuckled. 

"Hey! I’m really really broke those days you know!" She let out and this time they both chuckled. "But please, will you at least think about talking to her?" She insisted and he sighed in resignation. 

"Yes … yes of course I will…"

"Good boy" She teased before opening her arms in invitation and he smiled fondly before engulfing her in the strong kind of bear hugs she always liked so much. 

"Thank you Daisy" He half whispered, still feeling very confused but a little less desperate at least. 

"You’re very welcome Fitz"

"I KNEW IT! I knew there was something going on between you too!"

The loud exclamation came from just a few meters away. Lincoln, Daisy’s boyfriend, was looking at them, his hands on his hips and a huge grin on his face. 

"Urgh!" They both cried out at the same time. 

"Don’t even joke about this Lincoln!" Fitz hissed at him with a roll of his eyes. 

"Oh … so is this all about Jemma?" The young man asked with a wide hand gesture that seemed to refer to the fact that Fitz and Daisy had been outside for ten minutes and most likely Fitz’s whole behavior during the night. 

"Oh god …" Fitz sighed, taking his head in his hands. "Does everyone know?"

"Well we all have eyes Fitz … so yeah I guess …" He replied, his teasing grin turning more sympathetic. 

The irony was not lost on Fitz that it’s when he decided to distance himself from Jemma to avoid making a mess with his best friend that he made his feelings obvious to everyone. 

"Come on let’s go back inside" Daisy said, looping her arm in his. "Sober you up a bit and get you out of your head for a few hours at least!" She said and he nodded. That was probably best than his own plans of getting even more drunk and spend the next day sleeping. "And then we can talk about this whole "best friend" business when talking about Trip. I mean what am I then?" She added in mock anger but he knew their friendship was very important to her and the last thing he wanted was to make it look like it didn’t matter to him. 

"How about I make you both officially co-best friends?" He replied and she pretended to think about it.

"Will there be a ceremony?"

"Of course …"

"Okay then … yeah I can live with that" She grinned, pulling him back inside the bar. 

And anyway, if he decided to talk to Jemma about his feelings, Daisy might soon be his only best friend. 

-0-0-0-

When Fitz finally came home, it was almost three in the morning. Even though he still had one more beer, Daisy decided that she got enough water and soda into him and that he was sober enough to go home on his own. And just like Fitz expected, the place was silent when he got in, Jemma and Trip most likely fast asleep for quite some time. 

Toeing off his shoes and socks and shrugging off his coat and cardigan (Trip had apparently decided, again, to crank up the heat and make it feel like they were living on a tropical island), he flopped down on the sofa. It’s only then that he realized how tired he was. Wether it was because of the alcohol still coursing his system after all, the tension of the evening or the emotional conversation he’s had with Daisy, he felt exhausted and raw. The only thing he wanted was to sleep for ten hours and preferably not see Trip until he was back from his shift some time in the afternoon. He was considering just lying down on the sofa, at least for a few hours until he had the courage to get up, when Trip’s door opened. 

Fitz sighed heavily. He wasn’t ready to have a conversation with his roommate, he wasn’t ready to apologize (even though he knew he’d have to) and he wasn’t ready to have a lecture on his alcohol consumption and his health in general. I’m not judging you man, I just think it would do you some good to eat more vegetables and exercise a few hours a week bla bla bla bla bla … God, healthy people are the worst, Fitz thought as he considered just pretending to be asleep. 

But then it wasn’t Trip’s voice he heard but Jemma’s. Which was possibly even worse because despite the conversation he’s had with Daisy, he was still far from ready to face her, especially here, in the middle of the night.

"Fitz?" She asked, her voice still a bit sleepy and he cursed himself for finding it so enticing. 

"Yeah, it’s just me, not some burglar or something." He said, his own voice not exactly sleepy but quite small and tired. "You can go back to sleep …" 

"Oh … okay. Just … just wanted to let you know Trip’s not here, got called to cover for a shift when we’d just come home, didn’t even have the time to … anyway, Trip said I could sleep here. I’ll just text him to let him know you got home alright, he was a little worried and I …"

"Yeah of course he was!" Fitz let out with a humorless chuckle. Apparently his conversation with Daisy hadn’t erased the bitterness he felt about having such a perfect friend. If only he was a womanizer or just a tiny bit of an asshole, he’d feel less guilty but no, he was a nice considerate friend who treated the women he dated with respect and honesty. 

"Okay well I’ll …I’ll just go back to bed and I’ll wake up early so you won’t even see me at breakfast … good night Fitz …"

He couldn’t even see her but her voice was enough to tell him how hurt she was. It was even a little shaky and oh god no, he couldn’t live with himself if he made her cry by acting like an insensitive asshole. Of course she probably thought he was still mad at her from the way he’d been with her all night and the snappy tone he’d just used. He just wanted to make things easier for everyone but if it hurt her in the process and lost him his chance of them even just remaining friends, clearly it wasn't the solution.

"Jemma wait!" He cried out as he finally stood up from the couch and turned around. For a moment, he was reduced to silence, his breath hitching at the sight of her slightly messy hair, dewey pale skin straight out of a Jane Austen novel and soft eyes still heavy with sleep. She was still wearing his Doctor Who shirt from the other day (when she didnt give it back, he'd thought she just forgot about it, not that she took the conscious decision to sleep in his clothes) and her legs were bare. She looked at the same time so breathtakingly beautiful and vulnerable with this Bambi like confused expression on her face, that he had to fight the urge to take a few steps and just take her in his arms to make her understand. He cared so deeply for her and he never wanted to hurt her by acting like he did, just try to protect his heart and save their confusing friendship from a potential disaster. 

"Fitz?" She asked uncertainly. He must have been silent for longer than he thought. 

"I’m sorry … » He started at the same time she asked: "Did I do something wrong?"

For a moment they were both silent until Fitz realized she was just waiting for an answer or for him to keep saying what he’d started saying yet somehow it’s another thought that made it out of his mouth. 

"Why are you with him Jemma? With Trip? You’re nothing like anyone he’s ever dated and …"

Like anyone else. Period. 

"Yeah I … I got that …" She cut him off, taking a few steps towards him, the soft light from the coffee table lamp they kept on as long as one of them hadn't made it home yet, playing hypnotizingly on her thighs as she walked. "My last relationship has been really complicated. Trip is sweet and funny and smart. He treats me well." She added and then she let out a weird kind of chuckle, humorless and almost sad and Fitz’s heartbeat quickened for some reason. 

"Yeah I’m sure he does …" He started but Jemma cut him off.

"Trip is exactly what I wanted in a relationship when I met him. Something fun and simple, no pressure …" She trailed off, looking up at him pointedly. "Obviously, that whole simple part backfired quite spectacularly." She finally said, taking another step towards him and from where he was he could already smell lavender and that something special that was just hers and there was a new expression on her face, something fierce and resolved that was almost scary in its intensity. His heart started beating even faster and Fitz thought maybe Trip was right and he should exercise more because he didn’t want to have a heart attack before Jemma had the time to finish saying what she was trying to tell him at the moment. 

"What do you mean? Trip isn’t …"

"Fitz!" She stopped him with a hand on his chest, just above his heart. How did she manage to get so close without him noticing. Was she an enchantress? That would have explained a lot if such things existed. "You know exactly what I mean … it’s been two months …" She let out in a whisper and only then did he realize she was as breathless as he was. "I’m tired of pretending …" 

Her hand lingered on his chest and he knew she could feel how his heart was thumping from the tiny smile it brought to her face.

"Jemma … what are you …" 

He wished he could step back or even take his eyes away from hers because it felt like it was his last chance before the stupid thing Daisy thought could happen happened for good. 

"Unless I read you completely wrong and then you just need to tell me … Fitz what happened tonight? Why were you like that? Are you really mad at me for some reason or is there … something else? » She asked pleadingly.

"No Jemma! I’m not mad at you I bloody love you and it’s killing me!"

And here it was. The very stupid thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for stopping now but I've started proof reading the next chapter already so it should be up really soon 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the chapter that warranted the E rating ;)
> 
> Also, I've proof read it several times since it was first written but the last time with a nasty flu and a bit of a fever so if I let slip a lot more mistakes or grammatical errors than usual, that's probably the reason! I'll probably re-read it all in a few days when I feel better and make corrections if necessary but I didn't want to leave on a cliffhanger for too long ;) )
> 
> Next chapter should be up some time during the week-end unless Friday's episode killed me! (Are you ready? Because I'm not ... I'm preparing for the worse and still hoping for the best but I know it's going to kill me either way!)

Fitz had imagined a thousand scenarios in which he would confess his love for her. In all those scenarios, Trip and Jemma would already be broken up. Sometimes, it would involve him showing up at her door with flowers but, most likely considering he wasn't exactly brave when it came to talking about feelings, she'd be the one making the first step and ask him out. Actually, he'd quite have liked that. But what's sure was that none of those scenarios included him literally shouting his feelings at her face and making it sound like it was the most horrible thing that ever happened to him. And somehow it was, but it was also the most beautiful one.

Seeing the bewildered look in her eyes, it wouldn’t have surprised him if she decided to leave or scream back at him or even slap him, but when he felt her hand on his cheek, her fingers gently scratching his stubble, it was the softest and yet most electrifying contact he thought he’s ever had with anyone. And still, it was nothing compared to the feeling of her lips against his a second later. And at this moment, all the beautiful declarations he's ever made about friendship and loyalty and how his brain could always overpower his body, flew from his mind and he kissed her back in earnest. He wound his arms around her waist to pull her closer just as her other hand moved up from his chest to end up in his hair. Their lips glided languorously against each other at first, like they couldn't believe it was happening after longing for it for so long, but then she let out a soft moan and it emboldened him, gently biting at her lower lip before grazing his tongue to soothe the sting. Going up on her tiptoes to bring her face closer, she parted his lips with her tongue and as she deepened the kiss, he lost track of time. It could have been a minute or an hour when they finally parted, dazed and panting. Fitz’s hands were still on the warm skin of her waist and he couldn’t have said if he purposefully slipped them under her shirt or if the thing had just ridden up as she locked her hands behind his neck but it felt heavenly and he never wanted to take them away.

All this time, he'd kept the unlikely hope that kissing Jemma would be less than brilliant: weird or with a lack of chemistry maybe. That would have solved all his problems and they could have become very good friends. But of course, it was none of that, it was possibly the most amazing sensation he'd ever felt and it left him shivering with pleasure. It was like he was kissing, really kissing someone for the first time, all the other kisses having only been pale dreams and fantasies. It was bloody illuminating, exhilarating and incredibly arousing at the same time. 

Still not ready to look her in the eyes, he kept his eyes closed and rested his forehead against hers, taking a deep breath to center himself. He knew it was his last chance to act like the friend Trip deserved to have. 

"Jemma … it’s not right … I should stop now …" He started but she chose this moment to look up at him with dark hooded eyes and he could only meet her in the middle when she kissed him again hard and urgently, molding her body against his and going so high on her tiptoes that she barely touched ground.

"Trip he’s-he’s …best friend ... always been there for me … should stop …" He managed to mumble between softer kisses as he weakly tried to step away from her, the warmth of her lips pulling him back like a magnet every time.

"But can you Fitz?" She cut him off. Her breathless voice uttering his name that way was so infinitely sexier than the pleasured moans still haunting his dreams and he literally whimpered. "Can you stop now? I know I can’t. I’ve never wanted anything more than this in my life and now that I know what it feels like …" 

"God Jemma …" He breathed out against her lips before capturing them again in a heated kiss, nibbling and biting and licking into her mouth, her small whimpers making him feel drunker than any alcohol ever could. Ghosting her mouth once, twice more, he finally broke the kiss with a desperate sigh.

"Fitz look at me …" She asked softly as she cupped his cheek once more, her thumb brushing the apple of his cheek lovingly as she already did once, and made him look up at her. "It’s not just … this, something physical ... for me. I love you Fitz, not him, and he doesn't love me either, it was never going to last … I’ve never met anyone like you before, I don’t think I can live without you any …"

It wasn’t even her words that broke the last of his resolve, or his desire for her. Had it been only that, his brain would have eventually been able to overpower his body in order to preserve his friendship with Trip. It was the look in her eyes that did it. Earnest and full of that tenderness he’d gotten used to see there but also that thing he’d been too scared to put words on. But now, he knew what it was. It was love and it’s been there for a shockingly long time. And he’d have so many questions for her but for now, she was looking at him like that and he wasn't strong enough to resist.

He crashed his lips against hers before she had the time to finish her sentence. This time, it was different, more assured and with a feeling of inevitability. With the certainty that nothing could stop them now except the unlikely early return of Trip, there was no more hesitation and no urgency, just the overwhelming desire that had been there for so long and which they were finally expressing. Fitz pulled her to him as close as he could and she arched her back, going on her tiptoes once more so that their faces were at an height as they deepened the kiss. Their tongues caressed each other and tangled until she released another moan into his mouth and he couldn’t wait a moment longer to touch more of her. This time, his hands slipped under her shirt with intent, reveling in the feeling of the warm, soft skin of her naked back as he enveloped her almost completely in his embrace. 

"Fitz …" She whispered against his lips as she broke the kiss and started trailing soft kisses down from his jaw to his neck, grazing the skin with her teeth here and there and even pulling his t-shirt to the side to reach his shoulder, slowly and almost methodically, until she found that very sensitive spot at the junction of his neck and shoulder that made him whimper. Feeling her smile against his skin, she redoubled her attention, nipping, biting and soothing the sting with the tip of her tongue. His body was reacting ridiculously fast to her ministrations and he needed to even the score. Letting his hands descend down her back and then even lower, he slipped them under the elastic of her knickers and palmed her arse. He squeezed it tightly a few times, almost as a reflex and more for his benefit than hers. He couldn’t deny that he’d noticed her nice round butt before, through her distracting skinny jeans, but they felt even nicer than they looked. But then he let his fingers graze her skin as far down as he could and then around, feeling her shiver when he reached the extra sensitive skin of her upper thighs. She parted her legs a bit and smiling against where his lips were pressed against her temple, Fitz moved one hand and softly pressed his fingers where he could feel her hot through her underwear. She gasped against his skin and her hips thrust forward of their own volition against where he was already hard, the barrier of his own hand only adding more friction.

"God Jemma … this is …" He started before she pulled his face down for a kiss that was a little messy but incredibly hot as she started fisting his t-shirt and pull on it with an eagerness that sent another rush of heat down south and made him grab her arse and pull her flush against him once more. 

« I know Fitz … it’s never been like this … » She answered in a breathy moan when she broke the kiss and pulled away just long enough to pull his t-shirt over his head. He would have felt extremely self-conscious being half naked in front of her, especially considering who was her previous boyfriend -actual boyfriend really but he’d rather not think about it at the moment- but the way she looked at him with dark hooded eyes would probably be enough to fuel his usually small ego for months to come. When he saw her look down at the very obvious bulge in his jeans and her tongue darted out to wet her lips, he felt his heart quicken. He could only manage a small grin before reducing the space between them once more and pulling on her t-shirt. She lifted her arms up and then here she was, completely naked save for her knickers. 

For a moment, she looked up at him, her skin flushed and heavy breathing doing incredible things to her breasts, but there was something else in her eyes: some kind of insecurity or hesitation like she knew it was probably his last chance to stop and leave and be, clearly not a good friend, but at least not a completely terrible one. But here she was, bare and exposed, not only literally but also metaphorically. He might have technically said it first but she was the first one to admit not only her feelings for him but her will to do something about it and really be with him. She'd been braver than he was and even though he didn’t want to anyway, he felt like he just couldn’t leave her now. She was doing this in all consciousness and he couldn't only think of her as his friend's girlfriend but as an independant woman, a woman he loved and who loved him, and wanted to offer him her body and her heart.

So as he moved forward, he took the conscious decision to be a terrible friend to Trip but to be, at least, as caring and tender as Jemma deserved him to be at this precise moment. He engulfed her in a tight hug she didn’t hesitate to reciprocate and he could feel her let go of the breath she’d apparently been holding. They remained like this for a long time, simply enjoying each other’s closeness and warmth as Fitz tried to convey that what they were about to do wasn’t just about that for him either and how much he truly loved her. 

At some point, he felt her fingers into his hair, gently grazing his scalp and slowly going from an affectionate gesture to what felt like something more sensual. Or at least that was definitely how his body was reacting. When her soft breath on his neck turned into soft kisses, he knew for sure that it was intentional and he saw no reason to stop her. He tilted his head to the side to give her more room and she chuckled softly before moving directly to that spot that made him whimper earlier. Not surprisingly, she was a fast learner, even in that area.

His own hands fell to her sides almost of their own volition, gently tickling the skin of her hips and upper thighs, grinning when he felt her shiver and smile against his skin. Then one of his hands strayed back towards the apex of her thighs and her smile turned into a small whimper of pleasure when he went further down and caressed her through her underwear, feeling her hot and incredibly wet already. With his other hand at the small of her back, he felt her whole body tremble and her breath getting ragged against his neck, apparently too distracted to keep on kissing him, and he took this opportunity to kiss her temple, almost getting lost in the intoxicating smell of her skin and her hair. Until she looked up and their eyes met once more, full of love and tenderness and completely darkened by desire. 

"Fitz…" She simply breathed out before capturing his lips once more, the kiss growing in intensity as one hand wandered deeper between her legs, rubbing more firmly as he tried to find where she was most sensitive, while the other moved up to graze the skin of her side until it rested there, his thumb softly caressing the side of her breast, his gestures gentle and slow, like she might vanish if he pressed harder. They remained like that for a moment, strangely tangled in the middle of the living room but too lost in each other to even think about moving this somewhere else. One of her hands was still in his hair while the other had fallen to his shoulder blade and he could feel it tense every time his thumb brushed closer to her nipple or his fingers between her legs did something different. Until he finally parted her folds through the soft cotton of her knickers and rubbed at her swollen clit. She moaned into his mouth and broke the kiss for air. She attacked his neck almost immediately and the way she kept whimpering and panting against his skin as he worked between her legs was probably one of the best and most erotic thing he ever felt. His own arousal was skyrocketing and he was starting to realize that things would have to move along or he might not last.

Fortunately, she seemed to have the same idea because after letting out a pretty pathetic whimper that made him grin widely, she pushed him away. The next second, her hands were at his waist, undoing his belt, the button and zipper of his jeans soon following and then she pushed them down just enough to free his erection and get her hands on him. 

"Christ Jemma …" He gasped, his own hands freezing for a moment as a white hot wave of pleasure rushed through his body. 

Her hand was moving over him slowly but firmly and he couldn't help but rutt against it a few times before he regained enough brain power to force his eyes open. Holding her gaze, he hooked his fingers on the sides of her knickers in a silent question. 

"Make love to me Fitz ..." She answered, her voice barely more than a whisper. 

And so he pushed them down her thighs and fell to his knees to take them all the way down until she could step out of it. Looking down at him in all her glorious nudity and pale smooth skin, she looked like one of those pagan goddesses of love and for someone who'd never been religious, he thought he'd be fine getting to worship her for the rest of his life. Resting his hands on her waist, he pressed a kiss to her hipbone. Hearing her gasp softly, he pressed another, wetter kiss, lower and slightly more towards the center. And then another and then another until he reached the soft thatch of hair at her center. 

"Fitz … What … you don't …" She started but it looked like she had lost the ability to form complete sentences and as much as he loved talking with her for hours, he found that he quite liked having that effect on her.

His hands had fallen to her hips and her hands had joined them there, holding on to it like he was the one keeping her steady as her breathing was getting louder and faster. Moving down he pressed another kiss to that extra sensitive spot he'd discovered with his fingers earlier and she moaned out loud. The sound was so addictive and he wanted more so the next time he pressed his lips to her, he parted them and got a first taste of her. It was musky and sweet and deeply erotic and he never wanted to stop. She clung to his hands and on his next pass, he found her clit and started licking at it with more intent. Her head was thrown back in pleasure and he was so entranced by the whole situation that he barely heard her when she uttered his name between sighs and soft moans.

"Fitz …"

When he stopped for a moment and looked up, she was looking at him with such a lustful unashamed expression in her eyes that he felt compelled to reattach his mouth to her, grinning when he felt her knees wobble with the intensity of her pleasure. He felt a little weird with his jeans half down his butt kneeling in the middle of the living room as he was pleasuring a fully standing Jemma and it would have only made sense to at least move this to the couch to be more comfortable. But the eroticism of it all was driving him mad with lust and every little noise of pleasure she let out only made him hungrier for her, rendering it impossible for him to detach his mouth from her anymore. As she seemed to edge closer to her orgasm, she became even more vocal and it spurned him on. Sliding his hand around to her bum, he started squeezing in time with the rhythm of his tongue on her center to quench the desire he felt for her. And finally after one particularly throaty moan, he felt her walls contract and her hands fall on his shoulders in a bid to stay on her feet as pleasure washed over her. When her hands unclenched and her whimpers stopped and he thought it was over, he took his mouth away from her and couldn't help laughing in mirth and disbelief at what had just happened. He wasn't used to being so bold during sex, and definitely not the first time. Feeling her weigh heavily on him as her knees wobbled, he quickly got up and held her tight to give her time to come down from this high. 

"Oh God …" She whispered against his neck after a moment.

"I know I'm good but you can call me Fitz …" He replied and she burst out laughing. A wild, loud and uninhibited laugh making her sound like she was intoxicated and who made him happier and prouder than he's ever been. But then her hands were at his waist again, her movements frantic and hurried until they both found themselves fully naked. She took a moment to give him an unashamed once over, making him blush from the way she bit her lip in apparent satisfaction. How could she truly appreciate the way he looked after being with someone like Trip? His only vaguely defined muscles being in his shoulders and chest. But fortunately, Jemma didn't give him another moment to doubt himself because a second later, she moved to lock her hands behind his neck and in a coordinated move that was almost graceful, she jumped into his arms just as he was securing his hands under her thighs. 

The next move wasn't so graceful though because just as Fitz tried to walk away and towards his bedroom, Jemma apparently had another idea and made him lose his balance to fall back into the couch. They burst out laughing when Jemma crashed against him with a big oomph. But then her legs naturally fell on both sides of his lap and the way their bodies fit so well together felt so good that they both moaned in perfect synchrony. Which of course made them laugh even harder. 

"Jemma!" He whined as he cradled her cheek to make her look down at him. "You ruined my super strong guy move!" he added, barely able to contain his smile at the heavenly feeling of Jemma's skin all against him and she let out a throaty chuckle. 

"Do you you want me to get up so you can try again and feel very manly?" She asked with a defiant eyebrow and a little grin that just made him want to pull her to him and kiss it away like he'd wanted to do countless times since he met her. And actually, considering what had already passed between them, there was no reason not to do it now, so he did. Wounding his arms around her back and massaging her skin from her shoulder blades to her glorious and perfectly round bum, he slanted his lips against her in a deep kiss. She let out a series of small pleasured noises as his hands worked on her tense back and his lips and tongue caressed and kissed and teased her until they had to come up for air. 

"I think I feel manly enough like this Jemma …" He grinned, his voice low and his brogue made thicker by desire. 

"Say it again ..." She replied and that was not what he expected. 

"What? Your name?" 

"Yeah …" She replied and her voice had such a breathy quality that it made him wonder if …

"Jemma?" 

"Mmmhh …" She sighed and he chuckled incredulously. 

"What … does it really work on you? Is it my …"

"It's both Fitz!" She cut him. "Always had a thing for your accent but with your voice low like this it's hum … nice, really nice …" She breathed out, her body pressing closer into the hard line of his cock and he thought he could even feel her tremble as shivers ran down his spine.

"Good to know …" 

And then he was reattaching his lips to the skin of her neck, kissing and whispering sweet nothings and he couldn't believe how well it seemed to work for her. And when she started moving her hips, her hot center pressing and rubbing against his erection, it was so good he couldn't have said which one of them was moaning the loudest. His lips started to trail down her neck towards her collarbone and soon getting to the lightly freckled skin of her breasts. As he started peppering butterfly kisses on the sensitive skin there, the movements of her hips became a little faster and more desperate as she used her hands threading through his hair for leverage. Abandoning her hips for a moment, he couldn't resist moving his hands up any longer. He palmed one breast, gently massaging while his thumb stroke her nipple a little harder. His other hand gently cupped its pair while his lips finally captured the hardened point. 

For a moment, Fitz felt like he had an out of body experience. Here he was in the middle of the living room, the most beautiful creature he's ever seen straddling his lap and throwing her head back in pleasure because of what he was doing to her. But most importantly, she loved him, really loved him. He was pretty much convinced that he would have to remain miserable for the foreseeable future until wether Jemma and Trip would break up and he would probably never see her again or, he sincerely didn't know if it would have been better or worse, they would get married and he would get to see her for the rest of his life married to someone else, his best friend of all people. But against all odds, this was happening and it was quite possibly the happiest moment of his pasty life despite the possibly dreadful consequences that would follow. He didn't know if it would happen again, if she wanted them to become a couple. It certainly felt like it but how could he be sure? If he was braver or stronger, he would have this talk with her before even more happened between them. But he might lose her come the morning and he might lose his friend as well whatever he did now. 

"Fitz?" She asked, stopping him in his internal questioning and he realized she was looking at him with a little worry in her eyes. He must have been lost in his head for too long. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes … yes of course … I just … I can't believe I'm here with you like … like that …" He replied and her face softened. 

"Me neither Fitz but … don't get into your head, just stay with me … enjoy this with me …"

"Ah …" He chuckled. "Don't worry, there's no risk of me not enjoying any part of this!" 

"Good" She replied before pressing a soft kiss to his mouth, her tongue just grazing the seam of his lips but it was enough to remind him of his now almost painful erection and the way his body was just aching to be inside her. "Fitz, do you have …" 

"Yeah yeah …" He said before reaching blindly to his left where he threw his jeans on the couch earlier, thanking five months younger Fitz for being a little optimistic for once and putting a condom in his wallet just in case. 

Soon, he managed to extract the desired object and tear it open. He felt almost shy when Jemma took it from him with an hungry look he'd probably never get used to seeing on her face, and proceeded to slowly, teasingly, roll it on him. From the small grin tucking at the sides of her lips, he knew she must have been enjoying the way he shivered and whimpered at her touch. 

And finally, with his hands on her hips, she lifted herself up and fell back on him, his cock slowly stretching her walls until he was as deep as he could be. Remaining like that for a moment, she palmed his cheek and captured his lips in an achingly soft kiss and his arms wound themselves around her back, feeling like he was in real danger of being overwhelmed by the infinite tenderness she was expressing and the equal amount he felt for her. 

"I love you …" She whispered when she broke the kiss and before he had the time to answer, she started moving against him and he let himself drown in the sensations. The touch and smell of her skin, the soft sounds escaping her lips, the taste of her tongue, everything about her was intoxicating. Their lovemaking was slow and incredibly tender at first despite the raging fire she was igniting inside him as she moved her hips in increasingly large circles against him. It felt like his hands could never get enough of touching her, feeling her muscles tighten as she arched her back and her nipples get even harder with every stroke of his thumb or the goosebumps covering her skin as pleasure overwhelmed her. 

"Jemma …" He whispered hoarsely when she fell back into his arms, changing the angle and sending a rush of intense pleasure through his whole body, getting him suddenly really close to orgasm. Wounding his arms around her waist, he pulled her close to him and captured her lips in a sensual kiss. It was hard to focus on being subtle when the pleasure was so intense, but he needed to slow things down for him so she could have the time to get there at her own pace. He didn't want this to be just nice for her, he wanted her to climax again and again and for it be to exceptional and worth remembering like he already knew it would be for him. One of his hands slowly trailed up to her breast again and he started massaging her until she let out a soft moan into his mouth that made him grin against her lips. 

"Fitz …" She whimpered when they broke apart and she looked so breathtakingly beautiful with her hair so wild and skin flustered. She looked at him with such lustful eyes he couldn't believe it was directed at him. But there was also an almost desperate tone in her voice. She wanted more and of course, he couldn't refuse her. 

Giving her one last peck on the lips, he slowly trailed down her neck and shoulder and collarbone, whispering her name and sweet words of adoration against her skin that made her shiver all over until he reached her breast and captured her nipple between his lips, rolling his tongue in circles around it and gently nipping at it until she let out a sharp cry of pleasure. Her hips were restless against him, she'd started moving them again in tiny movements up and down his cock, as much as their proximity allowed. This pause had allowed him to push back his orgasm for a moment but it still felt heavenly and he knew it would come back soon enough. So he let go of her hips and trailed a hand down between them, dipping down a single digit between her folds, easily finding her swollen clit. She let out a sharp gasp of pleasure when he rubbed at it tentatively once so he kept doing it, drawing circles around it as his mouth detached from her breast, giving her more freedom to move her hips again. 

"Oh god yes …" She cried out as he synchronized the movement of his finger with the increasing pace at which she moved up and down over him. Her hands were on his shoulders and chest now, lightly scratching and using him for leverage as she fell back harder and harder every time. He could feel her walls clenching around him and her eyes flutter close every time and he knew she was close. She was moaning constantly now and he would have been worried all his neighbors might hear her but it sounded so beautiful to his ears, he couldn't manage to care.

"Come on Jemma let go …" He said, insisting maybe a bit more on his accent than usual and it seemed to work because she suddenly gasped as she came down on him. He let go of her breast and let his hand fall down to her hip to keep her stable as she moved up and down a few more times harder, all the muscles in her body tensing at once for what felt like a very long moment, before she exhaled harshly and released a low moan of pleasure. Her body went completely lax a moment later and she nestled her face in the crook of his neck, panting hard while lazily kissing and nipping at the skin within her reach. 

Holding on to her tight, he couldn't help chuckling in fondness and disbelief at her affectionate attitude and completely spent appearance. Her hair stuck to her sweaty skin and her eyes fluttering close.

"What?" She asked against his skin where she'd started moving down to kiss his chest and go up to the other side. 

"Nothing just … don't think I ever made a woman come just with my accent …" He replied teasingly and she burst out laughing, her reaction probably caused as much by hormones coursing through her veins at the moment than by the actual comedy of his declaration. 

"I'm pretty sure other parts of you were involved as well …" She said as she finally detached her lips from him and moved back to look him in the eyes. 

"Oh yeah and what are …. oh god …" He interrupted himself when she clenched her wall around his erection and gave him a cocky little smile. 

"Your turn now!" She whispered before lifting herself up almost entirely and then falling back on him hard, all while never breaking eye contact. His hands went to her hips to help her and soon she had resumed that almost punishing pace from a moment ago. With every movement, he felt himself get closer and closer and, he didn't know if it was leftover sensations from her previous orgasm or a new one building up but from the way she was biting her lip and whimpering in time with their movements, she might be joining him when he topples over the edge and he really wanted that for her. He wanted to make her feel good and loved and cared for.

Moving forward until he was at the edge of the couch, he wound his arms around her and in a bout of strength and agility that could only be attributed to the lust coursing through his entire body, he turned them around until she was laying on her back on the couch and he was on top of her, never breaking their crucial connexion. She let out a delighted squeak when he thrust forward for the first time so he thought he was probably doing something good. Hooking his arms behind her knees, he resumed that same fast and hard pace, feeling his cock twitch a bit more every time. Her hands were scrambling for purchase in the couch fabric as he rocked against her so he hooked one knee around his waist and took her hand instead, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles before gently pinning it above her head to stabilize her. She looked spent and sleepy from her previous orgasm but she still started to let out very arousing breathy whimpers when he found an angle that seemed to work for her. And just as he felt his own orgasm approaching and he thought there wouldn't be time for her to come again after all, she managed to tilt her hips up a little bit more. She cried out his name and after only a few more movements, they came together, his whole body pulsing through his release. Her body trembled and tensed once more before going completely lax. He kept moving in and out of her for a moment to chase his pleasure until the end and even though she seemed too exhausted to do more than keep her legs spread out on both sides of him, the way she bit her lip with every stroke told him she didn't mind him doing it.

When he finally stopped and collapsed on top of her, they remained like this for some time, sharing such a rare moment of simultaneous post orgasmic haze, panting heavily and sighing contentedly every once in a while as small waves of pleasure still coursed their body. Until Fitz realized he was still basically laying his full weight on top of her and even though she didn't complain and her legs were now hooked loosely behind his thighs, he supposed he would need to move back at some point so she could breathe properly. And if she liked keeping him this close, he'd see no problem in reversing their positions so she would be the one blanketing him with her body. In fact, he quite liked the idea and he was about to tell her as he moved up to rest on his forearms, when he realized that tears were streaming down her face.

The huge grin he didn't even realize had been tucking at his lips for several minutes, disappeared instantly. 

"Oh no Jemma what's wrong? Did I-did I … do something wrong, did I hurt you?" He asked, his voice shaking as he palmed her cheek and rubbed his thumb onto the apple of her cheek to wipe some of her tears away.

"No no Fitz that was … that was perfect, so sweet and tender and passionate and really … really good, it's just …" She stopped to catch a deep breath. 

Of course. He's been dreading what was coming from the moment they started taking their clothes off. She'd said she didn't want this to be a one time thing but it was in the heat of the moment … 

"Are you … do you … regret this?" He half whispered, not even able to look her in the eyes, too afraid to burst into tears himself if he did. 

"No! No never! I'm sorry I'm never like that … so emotional ... wait … can you just …" She said, gently pushing him off until he pulled out of her -he would definitely need to go clean himself up but that could wait a few more minutes- and laid next to her on his side. She turned around to face him and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. "Fitz … I told you I want to be with you, I was going to break up with Trip tonight, I swear I was going to … because even if you didn't feel the same …"

"Oh Jemma I do feel the same …' he cut her off. "I'm sorry I acted like maybe I didn't I was just trying to …"

"You were trying to distance yourself from me because you thought I loved him I know … I got that, at least that's what I hoped it was … you were trying to do the right thing …"

He nodded bashfully and she smiled softly for a moment, taking his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers in an achingly tender gesture.

"I was going to break up with him tonight so I could finally talk to you but then he got called and I wasn't going to lay that on him just before he went to work so I wanted to wait until today. But then you came home and you looked so sad and bitter all evening …I should have just stayed in bed but I was weak ... " Another tear escaped her eyes. "I feel like such a terrible person because I should feel so bad but I'm so happy about what happened between us … this is all so overwhelming …" She let out and he surged forward to take her in his arms. 

"I know Jemma but ... we'll figure this out" He whispered in her ear as he gently rubbed the rapidly cooling skin of her back. Of course he knew, he felt exactly the same.

-0-0-0-

A few minutes later, after cleaning himself up and quickly gathering their discarded clothes, Fitz took Jemma's hand and lead her to his bedroom. There was no reason to think Trip would come back before the beginning of the afternoon at best but still, Fitz felt somehow even worse having Jemma in his arms in the middle of their shared living room where he so often chastised Trip for being too "affectionate" with his girlfriends, always reminding him that he had a room for that. In a very dark hidden corner of his head, he could hear a small voice telling him that sleeping with Jemma like that was kind of a revenge but another much louder voice kept repeating him what an awful friend he was. 

They both slipped into bed without bothering to put clothes back on and Jemma settled into his chest like it was the most natural thing in the world. It was strange to feel so blissfully happy and content to be together and in the same time like they needed to comfort each other when they both felt like they didn't deserve any of it.

"You know I think I liked you the moment we met that day ... at the entrance of the building. .." She let out, breaking the strange but not uncomfortable silence that had settled between them. 

"Oh ..." Surely it had felt like they clicked that first time.

"At first I thought "great" because usually, I never get along with my boyfriend's friends but then at some point I realized I was most excited to see Trip when I knew you'd be there too ..."

"I thought I'd seen that a few times but I-I convinced myself I was imagining it because ... I think I fell in love with you that first night and I didn’t know what to do with those feelings ..." He replied. It was easier to admit those feelings to the darkness of the room and it was freeing in a way. Looking down, he realized she was looking up at him with a fond and slightly incredulously look. "Not in a "love at first sight" kind of way, that's just ridiculous … I mean of course I thought you were beautiful but it's your mind and your personality I fell in love with that night …" 

"Oh Fitz … " She whispered softly as she pressed a few soft kisses in the crook of his neck. "I wish I've realized what my real feelings were sooner, it wouldn't have been such a mess … but it's only after my birthday that I realized it … I was so ashamed of me after that, all the cuddling and god that massage … I felt like I completely used you …" She breathed out, hiding her face in the crook of his neck and if he could see hear he was pretty sure he'd see her blush. After so many weeks of confusion it was kind of reassuring to hear her version of everything that passed between them. He was an awful friend but at least he hadn't gone completely delusional. 

"And that's when I decided I should break up with him and see if something with you could be …" 

"But that was three weeks ago …" He cut her off.

"I know!" She cried out in frustration before lowering her voice again. "I know … I just … I kept wondering what if I imagined all this? What if it makes him feel like betraying his friend and he doesn't want anything to do with me? I was afraid I wouldn't see you anymore and I was in this kind of limbo … not wanting to be with Trip anymore but too scared to break up with him because of what it would mean for us when it was the only thing keeping us apart … God that's so messed up and now that I say it out loud, I realize that it doesn't even make any sense!"

Moving away from him, she sat up on the mattress, taking her head in her hands like she was too ashamed to look at him anymore and he couldn't have that. Sitting up as well, he took her hand in his to try and make her look at him. When she did, he could see that she was crying once more. All the many times he imagined what their first night together could be like, there was never so many tears and it made his heart clench. The way they started things, could they ever be blissfully happy without the guilt weighing on them?

"You know …" She started, her voice small and tired. "I always prided myself on following the rules and doing the right things and treating people well and I thought I was a good person but I'm not … I had so many opportunities to do this right and I didn't… I think I'm a bad person Fitz!" 

"No Jemma I'm the bad person, Trip's been my best friend for years and I couldn't wait one more day to be with you …"

"But I started it Fitz I kissed you …"

"And I could have pushed you away anytime …" 

"But you tried to do the right thing, you tried to make us stop, several times, and you tried to distance yourself from me and …" 

"Jemma!" He cut her off. "This isn't going to help us, trying to decide who's more to blame in this, what's done is done …" He said as he pulled her to him softly and laid back against the pillows. She didn't resist and resumed her previous position against his side with one arm possessively thrown across his chest. 

"Then what? We're both terrible people and there's nothing we can do about it?" She asked, her tone still a little bit sad but with a hint of teasing in it. 

"Let's say we're good people with bad timing and terrible instinct when it comes to love" He proposed tentatively. 

"Yeah … I guess that's … yeah, that's better."

"And honestly … I kind of blame Trip for being such a good guy and leaving you alone tonight to go to work …" He added and after a moment where he wondered if it was really too soon to joke about that, they both burst out laughing. "I'm taking it back …" He managed to let out between two fits of laughter, Jemma's own incredibly contagious laugh not helping him stop. "I really am a horrible person …" He added. 

"No Fitz …" She said, her laughter receding and turning into a soft smile. She lifted herself up on her elbow so she could look down at him before talking. "Like you said, we can't undo what we've done, we can only try to do our best now. All I know is that I want to break up with Trip the next time I see him and be honest with him and then … I want to be with you, give ourselves a chance at a relationship … is that-is that what you want as well?" She asked with a little nervousness in her voice. Could she really doubt that he'd wanted nothing but a chance to be with her in the past two months?

Surging forward, he caressed her cheek until his fingers were gently threading through her hair and pressed his lips to hers in a tender kiss. She moved so she was hovering over him and let herself be swept up in the tenderness of their mouths gliding against each other, even brushing her tongue at the seam of his lips and making him groan slightly as she deepened the kiss. For a moment they let themselves be lost in each other, her cold hand coming to rest on his chest, and still sending a rush of warmth to his gut as she instinctively squeezed his skin when he did something she seemed to appreciate a lot with his tongue. Things had a tendency to heat up so fast between them that he actually wondered how they managed to keep their hands off each other for so long. 

After a long moment though, he broke the kiss and waited for her to open her eyes again. He'd never get tired of seeing her look at him the way she was looking at him at the moment: eyes full of love and lust. 

"Of course that's what I want!" He finally said and she smiled widely. 

"Good … then I'll break up with Trip the next time I see him and then we'll see how best we can tell him about … us" She said with an almost bashful smile. "but right now I should really go …"

"Noooo not so soon!" He cried out and she smiled tenderly at his almost childish outburst. 

"Fitz, we can't have him surprise us here or even having breakfast and there's no way I can pretend I've been in his room the whole night and nothing happened …" 

"No no you're right. Just stay a few more hours, he won't be there before the beginning of the afternoon and it's the middle of the night … you need to sleep …" 

"But Fitz … if I fall asleep now, I might never leave this bed, it's too comfy …" She said but he could feel she was trying to convince herself as much as him and he grinned. Using his phone on the opposite bedside table as an excuse, he pushed her until she was on her back and grabbed his phone. 

"Now look, I'll set up an alarm to make sure you don't oversleep …" He said before showing her his phone to give her a proof and she rolled her eyes at his antics. He knew he wasn't subtle but he didn't care as long as he got to keep her a little longer before she leaves and all hell breaks loose in his life. He moved over her once more to put the phone back on the bedside table but didn't move back. Instead, he settled over her, holding his weight on his forearms and started kissing down her neck with intent. 

"Mmmhh … Fitz …" She breathed out. "That doesn't seem very conclusive with the whole sleeping part …" She added but still moved her head back and arched her back slightly to give him more room to work with and he grinned against her skin. 

"Oh yeah … forgot about that …" He said as he slowly started to move down until his mouth latched onto her already hardening nipple. She squirmed and outright moaned when he circled his tongue around it and that's when he decided to move back and he smiled smugly at the desperate whimper she let out. "Do you want me to stop so you can sleep?" 

" _I_ never said anything about sleeping …" She managed to say in the sexiest breathy voice he's ever heard and that's all he needed to resume his previous activity, using his hand to massage one of her breasts while he lavished its pair with kisses and bites and languorous licks until she pulled his head up for a heated kiss on the lips. 

"Fitz …" She moaned when their lips parted. "Where … when did you learn to do that?" 

"What?" He asked confused, too busy running his hands up and down her sides to focus on her question. 

"You know what … that thing you do with your tongue …" 

"Ohhh …" he let out, blushing at the memory despite what he was doing at the moment. "Hum … Daisy?"

"Oh … I didn't know Daisy and you …" 

"Oh no no no …" He corrected her immediately. Not that there was anything wrong with using things you'd learned with previous partners but Daisy was like a sister to him and even the idea of doing anything sexual with her made him feel very uncomfortable. "No she just told me about it …" He added and Jemma looked at him a little incredulously. "I was complaining about Trip and how his girlfriends were usually a bit loud and she suggested that I learn new things to make my girlfriends be louder to one up him so she … told me about a few things … that was very uncomfortable but now I guess I should … thank her …" He finished a little sheepishly and Jemma grinned. 

"Well _I_ should definitely thank her …" She said, putting her hand behind his neck to pull him against her chest once more and he chuckled at her eagerness. 

His kisses soon turned heated as their hands started to wander and he felt himself grow hard against her hot center. And when she opened her legs to welcome him in the cradle of her hips, he reveled in the way they fitted so perfectly together. As he slowly rocked against her and her hands held tight to his shoulders and his hair, he tried to commit to memory everyone of her cries of pleasure, the scent of her skin and the ecstasy written on her face every time he looked down at her. Because whatever happened next, this would remain one of the happiest most beautiful nights of his life. 

When Fitz's alarm sounded at eight o'clock, they were still tangled together in a mess of limbs, writhing against each other and having had very little sleep. He managed to get another half hour with her but in the end, she still had to get up, get a quick shower and get dressed to go back home. She left him with a tender kiss and the promise that it was the first and last time they'd have to hide their love to the world. 

As he went back to his room, he considered jumping into the shower but he was exhausted and decided to go back to bed just for a little nap. His sheets smelt of sweat and sex and he should probably change them before going back to sleep, but mostly they smelt like Jemma and lavender and he never wanted to get rid of it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a little longer to finish proof reading this chapter. Not gonna lie, I did spend quite a lot of time watching and re-watching and re-re-re-re-watching THAT scene from Friday's episode <3  
> Anyway I finally managed to do it, hope you'll like it ;) The last chapter should be up some time later this week :)

When Fitz finally woke up, opening his eyes with what felt like an inhuman effort, it seemed like he had slept much longer than the twenty minutes -thirty minutes tops- nap he had planned. Extending his arm to reach for his phone on the bedside table, he had the confirmation that it was actually past noon and he probably had time to complete two full sleep cycles. 

Also, he finally understood what had managed to wake him up from such a deep slumber. He had three missed calls in the last five minutes. All from Jemma. And that information was more efficient than anything else to make him feel completely awake. Bolting up and then immediately resting his head back against the headboard when he felt a little dizzy from sitting up too fast -god he really needed more exercise if one night of sex tired him so much-, he swiped left on his phone to see if he had any other messages. But he didn't and apparently Jemma didn't leave a voicemail either so he decided to call her back. His guts were twisting at the uneasy feeling that if she insisted so much on calling him, it had to be something important. It couldn’t simply be to tell him once again how much she loved him or thank him for the great night (which honestly would have been weird anyway).

"Oh hey Fitz! Is everything alright?" She asked the moment she picked up, sounding strangely relieved to have him call her. 

"Yeah yeah of course, why wouldn't I?"

"Oh nothing it's just you weren't picking up and I don't know I …" She trailed off. 

"Ah no I just I fell asleep after you left, didn't realize it was so late but hum … are you alright?" He asked, sensing in her voice that something was troubling her. 

"Yeah … well I don't know I guess … Trip just left."

"Oh …"

"I just broke up with him …" She trailed off once more and she sounded sad. Could it be that …

"Jemma … are you regretting it?" He asked, his voice barely loud enough for her to hear because that was an answer he wasn't sure he'd ever be ready to hear.

"WHAT? NO! Fitz no, why would you … I told you I want to be with you and a few hours won't change that, it's just … Trip is a really good guy and breaking up with someone is never a nice feeling …"

"Oh yes of course I'm sorry I shouldn't have …"

"No I mean I get it …" She cut him off, her voice small and bitter. "I cheated on my boyfriend to be with you, why would you trust me? I'm obviously not a trustworthy person …"

"No Jemma please, that's not what I meant. I know it's not something you would usually do. I trust you I do ... it's just me, I guess I still can't believe this is real .. that I get to have a chance with someone like you …" He said almost pleadingly. God, it's barely been a few hours and he was already messing this up with his pessimism.

"Jemma?" He insisted after a long moment of silence. 

"Yes … well I guess I'm going to have to make you believe …" She finally answered and Fitz relaxed a bit, a small smile tucking at his lips. 

"Alright … I love you, you know …"

"I know you idiot!" She replied with an exasperated tone that was also filled with fondness and he chuckled happily.

"But Fitz that's not why I called, Trip will probably be home soon so listen to me!"

"Oh did something happen?" Fitz asked, getting worried once more.

"No not really it's just … I texted him earlier to ask if I could see him tonight, didn't want to drag this out, and he must have mistaken my insistance for … something else because he came to my flat to surprise me just after work and he was all flirty and affectionate and I was unprepared so I just blurted it out! Felt wrong to let him even just give me a peck on the lips after the night we spent together, I've hurt him by acting the way I did, I don't want to hurt you the same way …"

"Oh Jemma I know … I know you always want to do the right thing …" He replied, feeling his heart flutter in happiness despite their complicated situation. She really did love him. "So hum … how did he-how did he take it?" 

"Not as bad as I thought I suppose … He wasn't exactly surprised, said he'd felt I was drifting away these past few weeks. Then he asked me why and I said I was in love with someone else … I just couldn't lie to him Fitz …" She said. Her voice sounded so small and distraught he wished he could be there to take her in his arms and comfort her.

"Oh and did you tell him who …"

"No!" She cut him off. "Didn't have the time to. He just nodded like I was simply giving him confirmation of what he was thinking anyway, gave me some kind of strange smile and just left. I was so stunned I didn't have the time to tell him it wasn't his fault and he didn't do anything wrong. And I didn't say anything about you too but I … he just had this knowing look and I'm not good at hiding my feelings and he's usually pretty perceptive so ... I think he might have understood on his own Fitz"

"Oh …"

"So that's why I called you. He's probably on his way home now so you might want to … I don't know I thought you might want a heads up or …" She sounded so stressed out and Fitz found it really sweet because she'd already done her hard part and wouldn't have to deal with Trip for some time so she was obviously stressing out for him, because she knew how important his friendship with Trip was.

"Yes yeah of course, thank you for calling me. I'll talk to him when he gets home, you're right I don't want to drag this out either."

"And are you going to tell him about …" 

"...about what happened last night?"

"Yeah …" 

"I don't know … If I don't tell him I'll feel guilty for the rest of my life, having lied to my friend, but if I do, it'll probably make him sad so … what? What's the best option?"

"It's hard to say. I always think you should stick to the truth but also try my best to never hurt anyone but in this case it feels like there are incompatible … Do you … do you want me to come, there's no reason for you to do this alone, it's something we both decided to do and …"

"No Jemma …" He cut her off. "Thank you really but I've known him for years, he should hear it from me first … I think ..."

"Okay … so what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, I guess I'll decide when I see him."

In the end, the decision was made for him. 

-0-0-0-

Fitz barely had the time to get up, take a quick shower and change clothes before he heard the front door open from where he was in his room, making his bed. With everything that happened with Jemma, it's only then that he remembered that Trip was probably a bit mad at him since he left the bar the previous night and he wondered worryingly what would be his attitude towards him. Well, obviously hiding in his room indefinitely wasn't a viable solution so he supposed he might as well get it over with sooner rather than later. So taking a few deep breaths to calm the thumping of his heart, he opened the door and walked into the living room. 

Trip was just closing the door to the fridge, a bottle of water in his hand, when Fitz walked in. The tall man seemed to freeze for a moment when he heard his roommate walk into the room and that could have almost been enough to let Fitz know everything he needed to know. When he turned around, his expression wasn't hostile or even a little bit angry but it was far from its usual natural cheeriness. Not that it had to mean anything for him particularly, the man had just been dumped and he was coming home from a long night shift, he didn't have many reasons to be in a good mood. 

"Hey" He simply said.

"Hey" Fitz answered cautiously. 

"Feeling better than last night?" Trip asked, a strange kind of smirk at the corner of his lips.

"Hu … yeah yeah I'm alright … You?" He could have said that Daisy made him drink enough water to sober him up or that he's had enough sleep to feel better but he didn't really feel like going into details about what happened the previous night so he settled for a vague answer and a nod. 

"Yeah yeah me too … well no I'm not great actually … Jemma just broke up with me …" He trailed off.

"Oh … oh …" Apparently having been warned by Jemma didn't help him know what to say without having to lie. The fact that he was starting to feel himself blush didn't help either so he settled for: "I'm really sorry Trip" which was sincere in a way because he was immensely happy to know that Jemma wasn't Trip's girlfriend anymore and now potentially his even though it may feel a little too soon to use this word, but he was truly sorry that it meant his friend would suffer for it.

And that's why he was more than surprised when he was cut off by Trip almost chocking on the water he was drinking as he burst out laughing. He'd imagined Trip reacting many different ways to everything he'd tell him today but an irresistible fit of laughter wasn't one of them.

"Damn man … you really are the worst liar I've ever met!" He finally let out once his laughter subsided. "I can't believe I didn't see it before …" 

"What … what are-what do you mean? I'm not …" Fitz stuttered, chastising himself internally for looking so guilty with his stutter and the blush attacking his face. 

"Fitz please … Jemma said there was someone else and for like a second I wondered who that could be because it's not like she sees a lot of people with all the time she spends working, and then it hit me … there is one person she's been spending even more time than with me these past few weeks Fitz ..." He finished with a pointed look towards his friend. Trip was always such an easy going, cheery person that you got used to seeing him smile and laugh and tell jokes all the time. Which made the rare few moments where he was dead serious, like at this precise moment, even scarier. 

"Oh …" was all Fitz could say for a moment, his mouth opening and closing and then opening again several times. 

"Well …" Trip let out after what felt like hours but was probably only a minute or even less. "Did you know?" 

"Yes … she-she told me" Fitz replied, feeling strangely grateful that Trip was leading the conversation or he could have easily blurted things out in the worst possible way. 

"And do you-are you …"

"Yeah … I'm-I'm in love with her, probably been since the day I met her actually, I tried not to I swear but I-I couldn't help it …" 

"Wow …" 

Obviously, Trip had been expecting him to somehow return Jemma's feelings but did not expect things to get so intense, especially considering it usually took a lot of goading for Fitz to admit he even just liked a girl. Putting his bottle back into the fridge, Trip walked towards the living room and pretty much let himself fall into the couch. Fitz almost reminded him to mind his posture but he supposed now really wasn't the time to tease his friend. 

Fitz wondered if he should leave him alone to process those informations or follow him and finish telling him everything even though he still hadn't decided if telling him everything that happened was still the best course of action and the nicest thing to do. So he took a few steps into the living room as well but rested a little awkwardly against the wall facing the couch. Fitz usually didn't mind the silence, he'd gotten used to it when he was a kid and didn't have many friends, but in that situation, it was nerve-wrecking and he could feel his old ticks coming back, his fingers restlessly taping against his thigh. He was about to ask Trip if he wanted anything, a coffee, breakfast, him to leave and never come back, when he finally spoke again. 

"I guess it shouldn't surprise me as much … someone as smart as she is, it's intellectual stimulation she needs, I couldn't give her that …" He started and some awfully petty voice inside Fitz's head wanted to scream that she seemed to appreciate the physical stimulation just as much and he hated it, especially since he knew Trip didn't mean it in a way that was meant to say she couldn't also be attracted to him physically. But he supposed that was what years of envying one's roommate's ability to speak to women did to you.

"And when you two get to talking about science or pretty much anything, it's like you're in your own little world … I should have known …" Trip added with a small amused chuckle and Fitz felt his chest tighten. 

Was it really so easy? He wasn't even going to be a little bit angry?

"So you're not-you're not … mad at me? at us?" Fitz finally asked, trying to keep the shaking out of his voice but not succeeding completely. 

"Mad? For what? Falling in love? It's not like you could control it and I get it I guess, Jemma's amazing! Obviously I'm not exactly psyched about it but I'll get over it and you talked to me about it first, that was the only thing I could ask of you really …"

It was in these kinds of situations that Fitz wished he had a better poker face. Not that he would have wanted to lie to his friend. Trip was obviously a prince and he thought too highly of his friend for Fitz not to tell him everything after all. But he just wished he'd been able to not blush and almost choke on his own saliva so that he could tell Trip about what happened in his own terms, hoping he could at least soften the blow a bit. 

"Fitz?" Trip asked, immediately catching up on his friend's weird attitude and straightening up on the couch. "You did talk to me about it FIRST, right?" 

Once again, he seemed stuck on a fish-out-of-water expression and it didn't help to see how Trip's eyes were narrowing and his whole posture was getting more tense by the second.

"Fitz?" He insisted after a few seconds, his voice significantly louder. 

"I-I … we-we wanted to, Jemma she wanted to break up with you last night before-before you left but …" Fitz trailed off. How could you possibly find a good way of telling your best friend you slept with his girlfriend but really didn't mean to. Even to himself, it sounded ridiculous.

"Fitz, are you going to tell me WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED last night or are you really going to let me guess?" 

Fitz didn't know Trip to have ever used his superior physical strength against someone else but from the way his friend was now looking at him, it felt like a real possibility and it made his heart race to know he'd managed to anger the coolest person on Earth that bad.

"We talked and I-I told her I loved her and before I knew what was happening, she kissed me and …"

"Oh so it's her fault I guess …" Trip cut him off sarcastically.

"NO! No … I kissed her back of course … and I could have pushed her away and I think I tried to but I … I couldn't and then …"

"… and then you had sex?" 

"Yeah …" 

Fitz wasn't even sure he actually said the word, he might have just mouthed it but from the way Trip fell back into the couch, an unreadable expression on his face before he looked away, shaking his head, the message went through anyway.

"Trip … I'm so sorry …" Fitz finally said after a long moment of silence, trying to push back the tears pooling in the corner of his eyes. He didn't even know why he was crying. Out of shame? Guilt? Sadness at the idea that he might have just lost his friend? "I wanted to tell you, tell her so many times, I almost did several times but I wasn't brave enough and if she was willing to meet your friends, I thought she was serious about you and couldn't reciprocate my-my feelings so what was the point? But then … she surprised me and I know it's not a valid excuse, not by a hundred miles, but …"

"She didn't want to come …" Trip cut him off. 

"What?" 

Out of all the things Trip could have reacted to, Fitz didn't think he would react to this one first. 

"She didn't want to come … kept giving me excuses not to come, took me three weeks to finally find a night where she'd be free, I thought it was just work keeping her busy but I get it now …" He trailed off. Fitz wasn't quite sure what to say to that. At least, things made more sense that way, but he was still waiting for the hammer to fall, for Trip to scream at him or punch him in the face. Which would have kind of reassured him because this apparent calm was more terrifying than anything. He could believe that Trip would have accepted their love had they done things the right way but even him wasn't forgiving enough to not get mad when learning his best friend had sex with his girlfriend. 

"Well I have to say, I didn't think you could still surprise me after living together for five years but you just proved me wrong, didn't you?" Trip said before letting out a small humorless chuckle as he finally stood up. Fitz took an instinctive step back and only found himself hitting the wall. 

"Trip …" He tried to cut him off but it looked like his friend had finally decided to talk and wasn't going to let anyone interrupt him. 

"Thought you were this genuinely good guy who placed friendship above everything else but maybe Ward did rub off on you after all …" 

Trip knew this was a sore point and he had to know comparing him to Ward would hurt and even though he probably deserved whatever Trip would throw at him, it made Fitz's eyes flash out in anger despite himself. He'd met Grant Ward when the man came to work at SciTech just a few months after he'd started himself. He'd befriended him and Daisy, who Fitz barely knew at the time. Ward's relationship with Daisy had soon turned into something else and the three of them became inseparable for a few months despite apparently not having much in common. And then one morning, they came to work and learned that Ward had been fired. He'd been spying on them for another company and feeding them every design Fitz had ever showed him using Daisy's secure email address. When they both went to his apartment during their lunch break, he was already packing and working on his next corporate spy assignment. And all he had to offer as a way of an excuse was that it was nothing personal and he did have a good time with both of them. 

They'd both been heartbroken in a different way and they stood for each other at the hearing that would decide if they were in any way responsible for what Ward did and that was what brought them closer together. In the end, they both kept their job and moved on and Fitz tried to focus on the fact that he'd gained a very good friend in Daisy, but it would always remain a very bitter memory. And he knew he'd probably betrayed his friend as well but he couldn't accept being compared to a man like Ward. 

"Trip no … you know it's not like that, it's not like I planned it or wanted it to happen like that I-I just lost control …" 

"Or maybe you just took Daisy's word too seriously after all …" He continued, ignoring Fitz's words. "but when she said you should get back at me by making a woman scream louder than me during sex, I'm pretty sure she meant that you should find YOUR OWN FUCKING GIRLFRIEND for that!" He literally screamed at Fitz's face, making the young man stop in his tracks for a moment, half expecting to be punched in the face. But instead, he just shook his head in disgust, which was probably worse, and turned around towards the door. 

"No Trip wait … we have to talk about this …" Fitz cried out, hating himself for how shaky his voice sounded as he ran after his friend and placed himself between him and the door. 

"Fitz, let me through …" He said in a dangerously low voice. 

"No please, let me explain, it wasn't like this …"

"Fitz move away, I don't want to talk to you or see your face right now …"

"I know I understand but …" 

He didn't have the time to finish his sentence before Trip shoved him to the side with a lot more strength than was probably necessary and he ended up hitting the opposite wall. Before he could even react, Trip had walked through the door and slammed it back with a resounding noise. He considered running after him but he guessed that if there was anything Trip would like even less than talk to him right, it was probably causing a scene in front of all their neighbors. 

So he just walked back to the couch, rubbing his shoulder where Trip had pushed him, not because it really hurt -honestly Daisy could have probably pushed him harder than that with the correct motivation- but just because he pushed him. The gesture was agressive and it meant a lot for someone like Trip. But even worse than the gesture, it was the look in his friend's eyes that made the tears that had been pooling in his eyes finally fall freely down his cheeks. It wasn't this disapproving look he had sometimes when he did something unhealthy or stupid, it wasn't annoyance or even anger, it was just plain disgust and it felt a lot like he'd probably just lost his friend. 

The worse was probably that now he knew for a fact that if he'd been brave enough to talk to Jemma a few days ago, calmly, without waiting for things to get so intense, or strong enough to stop after one kiss -one single kiss in the heat of the moment would have probably been excusable-, then his friend would have accepted it. Things might have been a little awkward for a time but in the end they would have been fine. 

But Trip had been his best friend for years, always taking care of him even when he didn't want him to and he couldn't lose him without fighting for him. So right now, he knew what he had to do.

-0-0-0-

Four hours had passed when Fitz finally heard the front door open. He was starting to wonder if he should call Daisy or any one of their friends to check up on him but then he would have to say what happened and he wasn't ready to go through that and hear more people being utterly disappointed in him, not right now when he already felt like he lost everything. 

Just as he expected Trip to go directly to his room or remain in the living room and leave Fitz alone in his bedroom, the tall man knocked on the door and came in a second later without waiting for Fitz's answer. 

Letting his eyes travel around the room for a few seconds, his eyes came back to where Fitz lay sitting on the ground at the foot of his bed. 

"What the hell man, are you fifteen?" He asked after a moment of silence and what Fitz thought was the beginning of a grin tucking at his lips. 

"Oh so because I'm a grown man, I'm not allowed to cry?" Fitz retorted, angrily wiping the few tears still clinging to his lashes. 

"No because it looks like you're drowning your sorrow in Mtn Dew man!" He said, nodding towards the several empty cans littering the flour. 

Truth be told, he'd wanted to drown his sorrow in something more manly and alcoholic like whisky or at least beer but they'd run out and he didn't have to courage to go out to get some so he'd settled for slowly giving himself diabetes or maybe a sugar rush if he couldn't get drunk. But for now, all he'd felt was that his stomach was full to bursting with bubbles and that he needed to pee every twenty minutes. So maybe he should just stick a big cushion under his shirt and fully experience what it was like to be pregnant. At least he'd get something instructive out of this awful afternoon. 

"We were out of alcohol after the last party …" He simply answered, reaching for his latest can and finishing it in a few gulps before throwing it on the pile of empty ones. "And if I was fifteen, I would probably have beer because I grew up in Scotland and my mom was never at home …" He added because apparently he couldn't stop himself from correcting people even when he felt like shit.

"Okayyy … but what about the music though? Green Day sounds awfully cheery considering that you actually look like a character from a rom com right now …" 

"Well I tried Adele and Sarah McLachlan but I just fell asleep and I don't think that's how you're supposed to react … And I was listening to Wake me up when September ends which is kinda sad but not too boring but then the rest of the album started playing …" He answered, feeling extremely annoyed that on top of everything his friend questioned the way he chose to treat his broken heart.

"Hey wait … what sorrow are you trying to drown anyway, you got the girl, I'm the one who's supposed to be heartbroken …" Trip said, pushing the clothes piled up on his desk chair and sitting on it. Apparently, he wasn't going to let him be sad on his own. 

"No I didn't …" 

"No you didn't what?" 

"Get the girl …" Fitz said, looking up at his friend whose eyes had gone as wide as saucers. 

"What? What do you …" 

"I called her, told her I couldn't be with her if it meant losing my best friend …" 

Again, of all the ways he thought his friend could react to this, hysterical laughter definitely wasn't one of them. 

"Oh fucking hell man … you're so dumb …" He finally managed to say once the laughter died down. 

"Well I'm glad to see my misery is a source of amusement to you …" 

Well at least, he didn't seem so angry or disgusted anymore so maybe, sacrificing his chance with the woman who was the potential love of his life had worked. Which should have comforted him a bit but he felt too horrible and empty inside for that. 

"Urgh come on …" Trip sighed, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "Think about it for a minute … do you really think that the promise of not seing Jemma ever again will erase the fact that you had sex with her while she was still my girlfriend? In our apartment? While I was at work?" 

"No of course I …"

"So what? You thought I'd forgive you out of pity?" 

"I don't know …" Fitz cried out. It was all so messed up in his head, he wasn't used to it. 

"So let me get this straight …" Trip started, speaking loud and slow like he was dealing with the village idiot. "You broke up with Jemma without the beginning of a proof that it would make me forgive you and you were potentially going to end up without either a best friend or the woman who was important enough to make you lose your best friend in the first place." 

That sounded a lot like what Jemma said but for some reason he didn't see the sense in it. Until now. That's why you should never act on a rash decision without at least giving yourself a few hours to decide if it's really such a good idea. And now that Trip was saying the same thing and with the minutes passing, it felt more and more like he was,in fact, the village idiot. 

"Oh fuck …" He finally let out. "fuck fuck fuck …" His voice was barely more than a whisper and he took his head in his hands, wishing the ground would open up under him and swallow him, putting an end to his own self-inflicted idiotic misery. 

After a good minute of silence where Fitz started to wonder if Trip actually only came to see him to point out how stupid he was, he heard him let out a loud sigh and clearing his throat before saying:

"Well then go get her back before it's too late …" 

Fitz's face shot up so fast at his words that Trip couldn't help chuckling over it. 

"But what about you and …"

"I'll get over it … I liked her a lot but I didn't love her and she didn't either and that was never going to happen …" He said before sighing again and keep talking. "And if I'm being completely honest, I told myself several times that she had so much more in common with you than with me …"

"Oh …" Only someone like Trip could be so cool-headed in such a situation. "But what about … us …" He added, gesturing between the two of them with his finger. 

"I'm sorry man … but you're really not my type …" He replied with a mock-sad tone before bursting out laughing.

"Ah ah hilarious Trip, really funny …" 

"Oh come on I think I'm entitled to having a little bit of fun at your expense!" He said, playfully throwing one of Fitz's t-shirts at his face. 

He was definitely acting quite differently from a few hours ago. There didn't seem to be any of that disgust or cold anger in his eyes anymore. Seeing them now, most people couldn't even have said that they'd been fighting just a few hours ago and even less than their friendship might have been in jeopardy. So could this mean that …

"But more seriously I forgive you, well no … right now I'm still pissed at you but I will, eventually, because deep down I know you're not a bad person, that you messed up but tried to do the right thing. I realized that you acting like a dick last night was actually to distance yourself from Jemma …" He said, chuckling with actual amusement. "Anyway I will forgive you sooner or later and if at this point I realize that you lost Jemma because of me and that you're miserable because of it, I will feel guilty … and I hate feeling guilty!"

Fitz felt a small smile tuck at his lips for the first time since Trip came into the room. 

"Really?" Fitz asked in a small voice. 

"Yeah …" Trip sighed. "I think you'll do a good enough job of punishing yourself anyway ... Now go get her before I change my mind …" He added and that was all Fitz needed. 

Shooting up from the ground, he grabbed his wallet on the bedside table and was already halfway through the door with his jacket half on when Trip stopped him. 

"I can't believe I actually have to intervene in this but you might want to take a look in the mirror before you go …" Trip said, rolling his eyes. 

Looking at him in confusion, Fitz turned around and understood what Trip meant. The white shirt he'd put on after his shower was now stained in several places with Mtn Dew, his hair stuck up from all sides and his eyes were all puffy and red. 

"Oh …" He let out before running back to his room, quickly taking off his shirt and putting on the first one he found in his dressing. If he had more time, he would have tried to see if one of his few suits was clean but Jemma didn't really seem to mind about these stuffs and she actually said once that she liked his t-shirts and cardigans. Then running to the bathroom, he tried his best to tame his curls with water and thought he looked almost presentable except for his ridiculously puffy eyes. 

Maybe Trip would know what to do for that? Would it be pushing his luck to ask him about it? 

"Hu Trip, do you know what I …" He started but was stopped short when he almost fell against his friend's chest. Somehow he'd managed to silently follow him to the bathroom and was patiently waiting for him with a slightly amused smile. 

"Here, put this on your eyes for five minutes, it should help." He said, handing him two small ice packs. 

"Thanks man …" He replied and as he blindly walked back towards the living room to sit on the couch, hitting the table and then two chairs on his way, he realized that maybe it would have been smarter to first sit and then put the ice packs on his eyes. 

"And when I say thank you, I mean not only for this but for … everything, you're such a good person and … and really a much better friend than I deserve …" Fitz said, his voice a little shaky as it betrayed his emotions and hoping that Trip was actually still close enough to hear what he just said. 

"Yeah well … don't go all emotional on me or we'll be here all night drama queen …" Trip replied and Fitz couldn't help laughing. "But since we're doing heart to heart things I wanna say that I'm sorry about comparing you to Ward, that was mean and I didn't mean it …" He added and Fitz shrugged.

"I guess I probably deserved it …" 

"No you didn't … you're not like him … it's just … Jemma turned you into an idiot I think …" Trip said and Fitz could almost hear the smile in his voice. 

"Yeah … yeah she did …" Fitz replied with what must have looked like a pretty dopey smile because Trip chuckled. 

"You really love her do you?" Trip asked and maybe it was just because he couldn't see his face but Fitz felt like there was no bitterness in his voice, just some sort of curiosity, and he could do with that. With time, maybe he'd even be able to talk to him about Jemma and he'd have that trademark fond smile he had when he was happy for his friends. 

"Yes she's … perfect and everything I've ever wanted …" 

"It's really all or nothing with you isn't it?" Trip said with a chuckle. "You've dated maybe three or four women since I met you and you've never been more enthusiastic about it than a man going to a wedding with his cousin and now I'm afraid you're going to propose to her next time you see Jemma …" 

"Well now that you mention it …." Fitz replied with a teasing tone but if he was completely honest, he was now picturing her in a beautiful white dress and he kind of liked it. "God I can't believe I fucked this all up …" He added a moment later when he couldn't help replaying their phone call in his mind and feeling his throat contract at he vividly remembered the way she had cried. 

"Well fix it then …"

"Yeah … yeah I'll fix it!"

-0-0-0-

It took Fitz five more minutes to look presentable and only twenty five minutes to get to Jemma's building. But it took him more than fifteen to go from the lobby to the third floor where her apartment was. He changed his mind at least five times concerning what he was going to start with to make sure she would at least let him talk and not shut the door immediately at the sight of him. Then once he'd finally decided, he was so nervous that his heart started beating worryingly fast and for a moment he thought he was going to be sick. 

But then he reasoned himself. It's already been several hours and the more he waited to talk to her and tell her what a terrible mistake he made, the more time she had to get really really mad at him and realize he wasn't worth it after all. So taking one last deep breath, he finally rang her doorbell.

For one scary moment, he didn't hear anything coming from her apartment and wondered if she was gone. After freaking out on his own for fifteen minutes before taking the decision the ring the doorbell, he didn't think he'd be able to wait however long it would take her to come home. Fortunately, he finally heard some noise, a door opening inside her apartment it seemed and then very light footsteps getting a little louder as she got closer. He didn't really have the time to wonder if he should smile or not when she looked through the peephole to see who it was (would him smiling look like he was making fun of her or …) because he could only hear a small gasp then what felt like an eternity -but probably only lasted a few seconds- without any sound and then she opened the door. 

She was wearing yoga pants, a large t-shirt that fell down her shoulder and showed what looked like the straps of a sports bra and he wondered if she really had the courage to actually exercise after the night they had or if those were just her comfy clothes. But he didn't dwell on that too long because her eyes were red rimmed, her brows were furrowed in confusion and anger and she had her arms crossed over her chest while staying a few feet away from him and the door. It broke his heart to see her in a such an hostile posture when she'd been in his arms just this morning, sighing happily as she buried her head in the crook of his neck. But it was his fault, all of it, and at least she'd opened the door so he would take this opportunity to try and fix things with her. 

"Jemma I-I'm … I brought you this, I wanted you to have it …" He said a little lamely as he handed her the Doctor Who t-shirt he'd folded and put a little ribbon around and a bow on top. He knew it was a weak start, he wished he's had at least the time to wash it but his mouth suddenly fell dry and that was all he could muster under her seriously terrifying gaze. 

"I don't want your gifts Fitz!" She let out in a breathless angry whisper as she took it from him and threw it back at his chest.

"Alright alright I get it I shouldn't have started with that …" He said, looking down at the wrinkled piece of clothes on the floor that probably only reminded her of their night together and what she thought she'd lost, before looking back up at her. "Jemma I'm-I …I'm sorry, telling you I couldn't be with you was the biggest mistake I ever made and I…"

"Oh so you changed your mind again, you think you can spend the night with me and then just …"

"No Jemma I swear it's not like that …" Oh fuck, now he was tearing up again. "I never changed my mind in the first place … with what I did to my best friend, I didn't think I deserved to be happy with you but I-I … I regretted this phone call the minute I hung up the phone Jemma." 

She didn't say a thing but it seemed that her expression had changed a little, even though he couldn't tell if it was a good or a bad thing so he just barreled on.

"I love you Jemma, everything I told you last night was real and I wish I could just rewind time and stop myself from calling you. I could have dealt with my own misery but I can't stand the fact that I hurt you." And now he was crying for good. It's not like he was usually so good at hiding his feelings anyway but there had to be something else, maybe the lack of sleep or maybe she was just that special … "If you give me another chance, I swear I'll spend everyday trying to make it up to you and …" 

"But how do I know you're not going to leave me again the next time it gets complicated Fitz?" She finally cut him off. "And what about Trip?" 

"He'll forgive me … eventually. I think … I think he knows that what we have is special Jemma …"

"Oh we're special now?" She replied. Her tone was meant to be snappy and sarcastic but he was pretty sure he could hear a tremor in her voice and something had definitely changed in her eyes and her posture. It was subtle but it was there and it spurned him on because it was or never anyway.

"Yes Jemma we're special, you're special … you're magnificent! It might sound crazy or it might even scare you away but it's true, I never felt anything like that for anyone before, it's like we're … you're … you're my lobster Jemma!" 

"What?" She repeated with an annoyed huff, looking utterly confused but he thought he could also see a twinkle of amusement in her eyes. 

"My lobster … you see hum …" He trailed off, realizing how weird that sounded out loud even though he'd found it kind of sweet when he saw that documentary a few months ago. Well now that he started it, he had to finish the story or she was really going to think he was crazy. "Lobsters, once they find their partner, they stay together for the rest of their lives and lock their claws together … like that …" He said, trying his best to mime two lobster's claws with his hands. (one more thing he should probably have rehearsed) "… and they walk about the ocean floors without ever letting go of each other so you see …" 

"Stop it!" She cried out while hitting his chest with the palm of her hands. 

"Yeah sorry that was ridi …"

"That's adorable!" She cut him off. "That's adorable and I don't want to find you adorable, I'm mad at you, you idiot!" 

She kept swatting at his chest for a moment and he let her. Because he deserved her anger but also because her expression was slowly morphing into something softer until she wasn't really hitting his chest anymore but almost caressing it. "You're an idiot …" She added, a little weakly and he decided it was probably safe to take her hands in his. They were freezing as always and she looked like she was tearing up as well.

"I'm really sorry Jemma … and I really mean everything I just said …" He said before blowing softly on her hands to warm them up. "Can you … can you give me another chance? We can … start over if you want, go out to dinner tonight?" He proposed with a small smile on his face and an hopeful tone. 

She looked at him for what felt like hours, studying his face and probably debating with herself if the ridiculous nerdy Scot in front of her was worth risking having her heart broken once more. But her hands were still in his hands next to his heart and she didn't try to remove them so he thought that was a good sign. 

"Okay …" She finally said and now that was definitely a real sincere smile on her face. 

"Okay?"

"Yeah … let's go out to dinner tonight." She replied before another more mischievous smile tucked at her lips. "You can pick me up in two hours, see you later Fitz"

And with that, she closed the door and he found himself staring at the golden 3F sign just next to the peephole and wondering what just happened. She wanted to go out tonight and give him another chance so obviously that was a good thing. But he couldn't help being a little disappointed. He'd kind of hoped that even though their separation had been quite short, their reunion would be a bit more passionate, that it would involve a bit of kissing at least. And now what? Should he go home? Maybe change into a suit or something? Or maybe just wait here, make sure nothing happens that would prevent him from coming back in time. 

Fortunately, he didn't have too much time to ponder over this because the door reopened barely a minute later. And before he had the time to ask if maybe she'd forgotten something, she grabbed his arm and pulled him inside, closing the door behind him but not before she grabbed the t-shirt that still laid on the floor. 

"Jemma?"

"I've had a horrible day and I'm exhausted. So I want to take a long nap and I want cuddles and even though I'm still really mad at you, I also love you, a lot more than you deserve right now, and you're really warm and I don't want to wait to be in your arms again, that would be punishing myself as well as you …" She said before pulling him until his face was only an inch from hers and he finally relaxed when he wound his arms around her waist and she seemed to melt into him, both hands on top of his heart where it was now starting to beat much faster. "… and I'm keeping the shirt!" She added, almost against his lips. 

Chuckling, he pulled her even closer. "You can have all the cuddles you want and you can have all of my t-shirts if you like … all the Doctor Who ones, the ones with science puns and even the ones with monkeys and also …" 

Her lips were on his before he could finish. The kiss was slow and tender and he could feel how tired she actually was, but it was infused with so much love and hope for the future that at the moment, it felt like it was everything he needed. 

"You're a ridiculous man …" She whispered against his lips when they parted and it only made him smile. 

"Yeah but I'm your ridiculous man?" 

"Mmhmm …" She hummed contentedly before wounding her arms around his neck and kissing him again, more passionately this time.

Their nap lasted much longer than they intended. Even though Jemma got all the cuddles she could wish for and felt more rested having slept in his arms than she ever did before, they also spent quite some time kissing and having quiet conversations about all the things they didn't dare ask each other before. It was a comfort to know he hadn't been imagining things for the past two months and it was freeing to be able to tell her all the feelings he had for her that "love" didn't even begin to cover. In the end, they still went out to dinner. Fitz's hair was a mess because of the way Jemma had threaded her fingers in it, his shirt was wrinkled from having slept in it and he had pillow creases on his cheek but he didn't care at all because no one would see him anyway. Just like him they'd be blinded by the light radiating from Jemma Simmons.

Also, they most definitely didn't have lobster.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the final chapter for this story :) It was supposed to be a short epilogue but as I re-read I felt like it was too abrupt and I wanted to say more about Fitz's relationship with Jemma but also with Trip! Anyway, thanks a lot to everyone who read this and left kuddos and comments and I hope you'll enjoy this last chapter!

Being in a romantic relationship with Jemma Simmons was quite possibly -no it was without a doubt- the best thing Fitz ever experienced in his life. No one had ever stimulated him like that on so many levels, intellectually and physically. When they talked about science, or really anything, together, it was so passionate and fascinating that it felt like he never had a real conversation with anyone before. And when they were kissing or making love or even just resting in each other's arms for hours on cold Sunday mornings, it felt like he never knew what being in love felt like before he met her. Even after weeks together, her smile or the touch of her hand on his face still had the power to make his heart beat out of his chest. 

During the first weeks of their relationship and despite Jemma's openly affectionate and passionate attitude towards him, Fitz kept feeling like he had to make it up to her for their rocky start. He showered her with small gifts and attentions and was overly generous in all aspects of their relationship. And as much as she seemed to appreciate his enthusiasm and generosity during certain activities, one night at dinner after she's had to tackle him to the couch so she could get up before him to pay for the pizza delivery, she put the movie they'd been watching on pause and sat on the coffee table so she could face him properly.

"Fitz we need to talk" She declared in a tone that brood no argument and he swallowed hard before nodding. That usually wasn't a good thing to hear. "You have to stop acting like you owe me more than I owe you okay?" 

"Okay …" He replied, feeling a little relieved but also quite sheepish as the way she talked to him made him feel a bit like he was scolded for being a naughty child.

"I don't want to have to fight you every time I want to pay for dinner and I don't want you to get me flowers or cupcakes or anything else every time we see each other Fitz."

"But I like doing nice things for you, I like making you happy, making you feel … good, it's not like I feel obligated to do it …" 

"I know Fitz!" She cut her off with a fond eye roll. "And I love you for it but just stop doing it all the time alright? Because maybe I'd like to have the opportunity to do nice things for you too you know, like inviting you to dinner … and I can't do that if you keep beating to it every time!" 

"Oh … I didn't think of that …" He replied, moving to take her hands in his. "I'm sorry it's just … I want you to know that I'm really serious about us and …"

"I know Fitz, the way you hold me so tight at night that sometimes, I can't even move at all, the way you look at me when you think I'm not looking and the way you always make up excuses to delay the moment you'll have to leave my apartment in the morning … those things tell me how much you love me and that you won't ever leave again. I don't need anything else." She finished, cupping his cheek to make him look her in the eyes. 

"Alright …" He replied, leaning his face against her hand that was, for once, nicely warm. "But you can't stop me from waking you up with pancakes and kisses!" 

"I wouldn't dare trying!" She replied and he gave her a huge grin before moving forward and kissing her softly but with an underlying passion that still left her breathless when they parted. "Although I could do with just the kisses if they're always like this …" She added and he smiled even wider. 

"I really do love you" He whispered against her lips.

"And I love you more …"

"Not possible, I definitely love you m…" 

He was cut off by her lips over his once more and as she slid across his lap, her arms around his neck, he decided that they could definitely settle this later.

-0-0-0-

If things with Jemma were close to perfection, the same couldn't be said concerning the other relationships in Fitz’s life. 

Between his busy days at work and the many evenings spent at Jemma's apartment, he barely crossed paths with Trip once a week. And when they did, things were rather awkward. Not that they were hostile towards each other but it was hard to act natural when Fitz had to bite his tongue to stop himself from mentioning Jemma every five seconds. He'd even asked Trip if he could start coming along with him to the gym so they'd have something new to share, but with their conflicting schedules they'd only been able to go twice. And even though Trip apparently enjoyed being able to coach him and Fitz tried his best not to be grumpy about it, it still felt like he had to live two different lives. 

Three weeks into their relationship and seeing how bummed out Fitz was about the situation, Jemma had even proposed that the three of them have a talk so that she could also apologize and try to make things easier for Fitz. But when he'd mentioned it to Trip, his answer had been a big no. He'd forgiven Fitz but he wasn't ready to see them together. And so, just like they'd done for the past few weeks, they kept seeing each other at Jemma's apartment or at his place the few times they were absolutely certain Trip wouldn't be there. And he could only hope that things would eventually get better with time.

-0-0-0-

And actually, a week later, they did, on one of the rare nights where Trip had a night shift and Jemma could come to his place. Fitz had had managed to come home early, catch up on his latest science magazines reading and do a bit of cleaning up. The apartment had never been this clean since Fitz moved in and if he wasn't convinced of the gravity of what he had done, he'd be tempted to think his friend was using his guilt to make him do things around the house. Also, having Jemma there was quite a good motivation for making the place look nice, anyway.

Just as he was about to finally settle on the couch to work on his laptop a bit, there was a knock on the door and Fitz wondered who the hell it could be. Jemma just texted him she wouldn't be here for another hour and finally following both Jemma and Trip's advice, he'd adopted healthier eating habits and had started cooking for himself more often instead of having food delivered half the time. And he wasn’t the kind of person who had impromptu visits from friends, the few ones he had anyway. So he really couldn't imagine it being anything other than someone knocking on his door by mistake. Still, fighting his instinct to be quiet and act like he wasn't home, he put his laptop on the coffee table and went to answer the door. 

"Daisy?" He exclaimed when he saw his friend through the peephole, more to himself than her but she still heard him. 

"Open the door you idiot, it's heavy!" She cried out through the door and he did just that. He was apparently physically incapable of not doing as he was told when it was Jemma or Daisy asking. Or even Bobbi for that matter. Probably had something to do with his relationship with his mother. But as Daisy dropped two packs of beer into his arms and walked in to deposit a grocery bag loaded with snacks that looked to be meant for a lot more than two persons, he decided that now was not the time to think about that.

"So Daisy, what do I owe the pleasure of your .. oooowww" He cut himself off when she punched his shoulder hard the moment the beers were safely deposited on the kitchen counter. "Why do you hit me all the time?" He cried out, rubbing his shoulder and realizing that it did actually hurt. "Maybe I should take classes with Bobbi so I could defend myself against you!"

"Well, don’t get your hopes up, she might kick your ass harder than I did!" Daisy replied with an annoyed huff. 

"What-why-wh … » 

"Urgh Fitz come on, we haven’t seen you in over a month …" She replied with an exasperated huff but there was also an underlying sadness in her voice.

"I know but I’ve just been very …"

"And don’t tell me you’ve busy at work, you’ve always found time to come have a beer on Saturday night even when you were swamped at work … and I know you must be very busy having a lot of nerd sex all the time but …"

"No Daisy that’s not it at all it’s just …"

"I know Fitz … do you think you can really hide anything from me after all this time?" Daisy cut him off, raising an amused eyebrow as she obviously noticed the deep blush attacking his cheeks at the mention of all the sex he was indeed having with Jemma.

The thing was, although he'd used the excuse of work the three times Daisy’d asked him to come have a drink with everyone else, the real reason he didn’t come was mostly shame and guilt. He missed his friends terribly and Trip made it clear that he'd already forgiven him but that didn’t mean Fitz still didn’t feel as guilty as ever about the whole thing. And he knew Trip had told their friends about the situation and even though he wouldn’t have wanted to keep it a secret anyway -he needed to own up to what he did-, he thought it was obvious they would take Trip's side and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to deal with their disapproving looks or comments, especially considering that when they’d start catching up on the latest events in their life, Fitz would only have Jemma in mind.

"Listen, you and Jemma obviously fucked up big time -by the way, when I said you should talk to her, I should have added that you should talk to her and then wait until she was single to jump her bones- but anyway …" Daisy trailed off with a disapproving look that soon turned amused when she noticed the way he looked like a child that’s been caught red-handed while trying to steal a cookie. "that thing is between you and Trip and if he’s willing to forgive you, what would give us the right to judge you?" Daisy finished with a smile that was softer and it made a small one appear at the corner of his lips. "And well … considering how annoyingly smart you are all the time, it’s kinda nice to see you acting stupid for once … makes us feel better about ourselves, ordinary humans!" She grinned and he chuckled at the disguised compliment.

"So you’re not … mad at me?" He asked, chastising himself for how small and childish his voice sounded. 

"Well we’re a little bit mad at you for not giving us news for almost a month … but it’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a little party and a night with your friends!" She grinned back. 

"Oh … oh yeah sure I’ll have some time next … oh you mean now?" 

Fitz’s eyes went wide when he thought he finally understood Daisy’s meaning which was confirmed by her wide grin. 

"Yeah, Bobbi and Hunter should be here soon with more booze and obviously, you’re paying for pizza!"

So much for trying to be healthy. 

« But hum … Jemma should be here in like an hour or so …" Fitz let out a little shyly, still somehow feeling like it was a dirty secret he shouldn’t talk about to anyone. 

"Yeah I kinda gathered that from the candles and the nice smell and the fact that this place has never been this tidy unless your mom was visiting!"

"Hey that’s …" He cried out before realizing that it was most likely true. "… ok yeah that’s probably true …" He admitted sheepishly and Daisy chuckled before giving him an affectionate shoulder bump. "Oh and hum … I'm sorry for you know, disappearing on you guys … I missed you …" He added, leaning into her affectionately and she let out a soft chuckle. 

"Awww Fitz. You know you're lucky you're cute!" She said before letting her head fall on his shoulder for a moment before teasingly poking his side. "Missed you Fitzy …" She said with a soft smile before pressing a kiss to his cheek and walking towards the kitchen to put the beers in the fridge. 

Shaking his head in amusement, Fitz took out his phone out of his pocket.

"Fine I guess I’ll … I better call Jemma to give her a head’s up …" Fitz let out, knowing it was no use trying to resist Daisy anyway. And actually, despite being slightly disappointed that he wouldn’t have a quiet night in with Jemma cuddling in the couch or … whatever they would have ended up doing, it would be nice getting to spend some time with Daisy and his friends as well. He’d sincerely missed them this past month. He loved Jemma more than anyone he ever loved before but he missed having someone else to talk to, especially about her, he missed having heated and ridiculous conversations with Hunter about football and he missed Bobbi being all big sisterly with him (even though he’d never tell her) and he missed having Daisy showering him with questions about his love life, especially since he finally had one now!

Even though she was a bit nervous about it, Jemma was surprisingly alright with the idea of spending the evening with his friends rather than just the two of them. And once she was there, after the initial moments of shyness and awkwardness where she didn’t dare to speak and both of them barely touched each other despite the fact that they had to cram together on a single armchair, things went better than Fitz expected. After a few beers and quite a bit of teasing about their relationship, everyone remembered why they loved Jemma in the first place and decided that they had no reason not to love her now that she was with Fitz, especially since it gave them several occasions to tease him for being so openly and quite adorably in love. (Their words, not his)

-0-0-0-

So just like that, Fitz’s life became almost perfect: he had the most perfect girlfriend and he loved her more than he ever thought possible, his friends were part of his life again and he supposed being teased about acting all cutee-lovey-dovey with Jemma (again, Daisy’s words, not his) was a small price to pay for having all the people he loved the most, all together in the same room as often as he wanted to. Well almost all of those people. Because Trip still hadn’t given any sign that he was ready to see Fitz and Jemma together. 

That is until a few weeks later. 

Fitz came home that night expecting to find an empty apartment and instead found his friend eating in front of the TV and not looking like he was planning on going out anytime soon considering the sweat pants and ugly old t-shirt he was wearing. 

"Hi Trip …" Fitz let out tentatively as he stepped into the room, taking off his jacket and already starting to take his phone out to text Jemma and tell her they’d have to cancel tonight or meet at her place instead. 

"Hey!" Trip replied with a smile. "Long day?" He added with a teasing tone, nodding towards his completely mussed curls and longer than usual stubble. Actually those were both Jemma’s doing. The stubble because she liked it that way and the mussed hair because she liked his hair longer, which made it even more difficult to tame them on a daily basis, especially since he couldn't stop himself from running his fingers through it every time he got frustrated at work. But he wasn’t going to tell him that so he chose to go for the comfortable teasing they’d gone back to in the past few weeks.

"I could ask you the same. I mean that must have been a pretty big bet you lost to have to wear such a ridiculous t-shirt!" Fitz grinned and Trip simply chose to roll his eyes, which made Fitz grin even wider because Trip’d obviously just won the "who looks worse" contest. 

"So hum … I thought you were supposed to be working tonight." Fitz let out casually. Or at least what he thought passed as casually. Which apparently wasn’t exactly convincing considering the small amused smile tucking at Trip’s lips. 

"No, they needed me to take an early shift tomorrow morning …"

"Oh alright … cool … cool cool … so anything planned for tonight?"

"Yeah actually I’ve been meaning to talk to you …" 

Oh. Now what? If they were a couple he’d be seriously worried he was about to break up with him. Well, whatever it was, it would probably be better to tell Jemma he couldn’t see her after all. Who knew how long this could take? And it would probably be a really bad idea to have her ringing the doorbell during a serious conversation with his friend.

"Oh … oh hum … sure, let me just … I have a quick phone call to make and I’ll be …"

"If you wanted to call Jemma, I don’t think that’ll be necessary …" Trip cut him off with a raised eyebrow like he was defying him to say it wasn't actually Jemma he was about to call.

"Oh no why did you … I mean I don’t-I-hum what?" Fitz finished lamely and Trip’s small smile bloomed into one those wide smile he wore so often when Fitz acted all awkwardly.

"Fitz, you realize that I do know you’ve been seing Jemma for the past two months, right? Including at least a few times in our apartment …" He asked and Fitz could only nod a bit dumbly. "Although you did a pretty good job erasing all traces of her passage. at least now I know whose help I’ll ask if I ever kill someone and need help making the body disappear!" He added and Fitz rolled his eyes to hide his slight embarrassment. 

"So what did you hum … what did you wanna talk about?"

"Well not talk with you as much as tell you something actually." He replied and his light tone should have told Fitz that it was a probably good thing but he was too stressed out to realize it at the moment. 

"Okay …" He simply let out, his throat bobbing hard.

"I just meant to say that if you want to invite Jemma in when I’m home, I don’t mind …" His friend said, sounding as cool and detached as usual and even though he would have fooled most people, Fitz could see the small signs like the fact that he didn’t exactly meet his eyes or spoke just a little too fast, that meant Trip didn’t take it as lightly as he looked.

"Oh … oh that’s … yeah, that’s nice …" 

"Yeah and I think it’d be nice if you asked her to come along when we all go out with the gang next week …" He added and Fitz felt the beginning of a big relieved smile tucking at his lips. 

"Yeah that’d be really nice …" Fitz said, feeling a little stupid repeating the same words over and over again but finally relaxing as he flopped down on the couch once he realized he was still awkwardly standing just in front of it. "But hum are you sure? I mean I’d understand …" 

"No yeah I’m sure." He answered with a softer smile. "I miss spending time with you and well … you know I’ve always liked your girlfriend right?" He added with a teasing grin that grew even wider at the sight of the blush attacking Fitz’s cheeks. Somehow he felt like this was only the beginning of a long series of evenings spent using his guilt to tease him endlessly. Well he supposed he probably deserved that and settled for throwing one of the couch cushions at his friend.

"Also Daisy told me you two looked sickeningly happy together so I suppose I should get used to seeing you together since you’ll have no choice but make me your best man and godfather of your first child you’ll name after me …" 

"Urgh … you know you won’t be able to guilt me into doing things for you indefinitely right?" Fitz groaned. 

"Mmmmh … I’m pretty sure I still have a few good months in front of me …"

"You know maybe I should name my first child Antoine just so you could feel guilty for inflicting such a terrible name to an innocent child!"

"Oooooh so that’s how you want things to go?" Trip replied, his eyebrows lifting in fake anger and real amusement as he tried to discreetly take hold of a bigger couch cushion.

"Well you …" Fitz started but he was cut off by the cushion very efficiently hitting him in the face and coaxing a very undignified shriek out of him that sent Trip into a huge fit of laughter. 

Deciding that there really weren’t established rules concerning pillow fights, Fitz used his moment of distraction to retaliate by hitting him back with the same cushion, which Trip took as a real declaration of war. 

The fight ended pretty quickly though, when they ended up in a position that made them both feel equally embarrassed and agreed to never talk about it ever again. 

"So …" Trip started after a few minutes and once his laughter had receded and his breathing had gone back to normal. "How are things between you and Jemma?" 

"Really really good …" Fitz replied, unable to stop the wide smile that tended to appear on his face every time he even just thought of her. 

And like that, Fitz knew he finally had his best friend back. Granted the first few moments of conversation fell a bit awkward with Fitz not knowing what he could tell his friend about his relationship without it being too much but somehow, all the teasing actually helped and soon they were just two best friends who lost contact for a time and were catching up on their lives. And it felt really nice. 

-0-0-0-

"Mmmh … this is nice …" Fitz whispered, his voice still a bit shaky and breathless from the exertion as Jemma settled her head on his shoulder and one arm across his chest. She’d done that the first time they laid in bed together and it had felt amazing and perfect and even though it’s been two months and he should have gotten used to it, it still amazed him. And every time, his arms pulled her just a little bit closer of their own volition, like a part of him was still subconsciously scared she’d leave if he didn’t hold on tight. 

"Yeah … sounded like you enjoyed yourself" She replied in a sleepy teasing voice and Fitz chuckled. 

"No I don’t mean that … well I mean yes of course, that was definitely a lot more than nice but what I meant is that this …" He gestured between the two of them with his fingers. "… is nice, having you in my bed all … soft and warm and … naked …" He finished, grinning widely.

Looking up, she pressed a soft lazy kiss to his lips. 

"Yes it is. But you do know we’ve already been in this bed together, yeah?" 

"I know!" He said, rolling his eyes. "But not often and it’s nice to be here without feeling like I’m sneaking my girlfriend in while my mom’s not home!" He finished and she chuckled. "Not that I don’t like your apartment, it’s beautiful and somehow it always smells of flowers even though I’ve never seen a single flower there except the ones I bring you. But you know … it’s nice to have you in my space for a change and not feel like I'm invading yours …"

"I know Fitz I know …" She whispered softly, gently caressing his chest. She knew how much it had meant for him to have his friend back and she didn’t even hesitate to come to his place even though they hadn’t seen each other in five days and knew it meant they’d have to wait even longer to be as affectionate as they usually were towards each other. And he knew she suffered through Trip’s teasing mostly for his sake and he loved her even more for that. 

"And I’m really happy for you that you’ll get to spend more time with Trip from now on but hum … you know I’ve gotten quite used to having you in my space so often and I-I wouldn’t mind you spending even more time there …" She added and he chuckled. 

"That’s sweet Jemma but wouldn’t that make spending more time with Trip more complicated?"

"Well you could be at my place and we’d invite him and your other friends there as well …"

"Yeah I guess we could do that but hum … I’d still need to spend a few nights a week at my place anyway, that’s where my computer and my clothes are so it'd make it simpler for you to be here with me …" He started, feeling a little confused. He usually understood what she meant without her having to talk much but now …

"Well maybe you could bring those things at my place …" She cut him off, lightly scratching his chest as she looked up at him with a tentative smile. 

"But then I’d have to bring them back to mine when I can't come to yours, that seems barely more practical …"

"Ugh Fitz!" She cut him off once more, moving away from him and lifting herself on her elbow to look down at him with a smile that was in the same time annoyed and fond. "How about we move in together and you start understanding what I’m saying?" She finally cried out, probably louder than she expected from the way she adorably put her hand on her mouth in surprise a second later. 

"What? You mean-you … you want me to … you want me to … come live with you?" Fitz stuttered as he lifted himself up on his side to face her and she must have mistaken his surprise and incapacity to form coherent sentences for hesitation because her face fell and she started blushing and rambling. He'd only ever lived with his mother and then had immediately found this place with Trip when he was out of Uni. He'd never lived with a woman. Actually, he didn't even have a relationship serious enough to even entertain the idea of letting the woman leave a toothbrush or a few clothes at his place, and here he was seriously considering the idea of living with Jemma. And the craziest thing was that he couldn't really find a reason not to.

"Yeah but no, it’s alright Fitz it was just a thought. I mean we’ve only been together two months, it’s completely crazy right? Forget I’ve said that, let’s go back to cuddling and …"

"No" He cut her off, feeling strangely calm considering what he was about to say and what it would mean for his future. "I mean yes it’s completely crazy but … it kinda feels like the best idea I’ve ever heard …" He finished, his lips turning up into a wide happy smile. 

Of course it was crazy and it’s only been two months and he hadn’t even thought about it until now. But suddenly it felt like it was the only thing that could make his life even more perfect than it was at the moment. 

"Really?" She asked and her eyes were shining with unshed tears. But from the smile that was currently illuminating her face, he couldn’t be troubled by it because they were obviously happy tears.

"Yeah … I mean we could wait a few more months to get to know each other better but hum ... if I've ever been sure of anything in my life it's of how much I love you and I don't think I could ever spend enough time with you so ..." 

"So we're really doing this? You're moving in with me?" She cut him off, her grin threatening to split her face in half. And if he still had a single doubt about it, the hopeful look in her eyes and the way he'd actually missed her when they'd only been apart a few days erased it all. 

"Yes. Yes I think we are ... I mean if you're willing to have a grumpy Scott invade your space and clutter your tastefully decorated apartment with all my stupid geeky stuff and my ..."

He was cut off by Jemma literally throwing herself at him, pushing him back against the matress and slanting her mouth against his. The kiss was at the same time heated, with her body pressed tightly against his, and soft from the way she gently cradled his jaw with her hands. The kiss wasn't the best one they shared because the way they were both smiling widely kept them from really focusing on it but it was hard to care when Fitz felt so happy. But finally, after a few minutes they had to come up for air and Jemma settled over him, her arms bracing his face so as not to crush him completely. 

"Oh no Fitz there's plenty of space for you, you won't be invading anything … you see we could set up your desk opposite mine for when you need to work at home, we can also add more shelves there for your books and hum I guess we only need the one bed anyway and … oh wait we should start making a list of things …"

"Jemma stop!" Fitz cut her off with an amused smile and a finger on her lips. "How about we start making lists tomorrow and I go find us a bottle of wine to celebrate instead?" 

"Oh …" She let out with sheepish little smile, realizing that she let her obsession for organization get ahead of her. "Of course that's a …"

"AND HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT THE HELL UP AND CELEBRATE TOMORROW? SOME PEOPLE NEED TO BE UP IN THREE HOURS!!" 

Even through the bathroom and two walls, Trip's voice was still pretty loud and that's when they realized that, in all the excitement, they might have been a little too loud. 

"SORRY WE'LL SHUT UP NOW!" They both cried out at the same time as they looked at each other with an amused smile. 

"At least, you don't have to worry about how to announce it to Trip …" Jemma whispered and they both giggled, trying their best to stay as quiet as possible. 

"CONGRATULATIONS THOUGH, I'M HAPPY FOR YOU, YOU IDIOTS!" Trip cried out but Fitz was pretty sure he could hear the smile in his voice.

"THANK YOU!" They cried out in unison once more.

"I'm really happy too you know" Fitz whispered in Jemma's ear as he let her set up against his chest, her breath deliciously caressing the skin of his neck. 

"Me too Fitz, never been happier …" She replied as she pressed a kiss to his jaw and settled back, letting the steady beat of his heart lull her to sleep.

Soon, they'd be able to fall asleep like that every night and the smile it brought to his lips remained there long after he'd fallen asleep himself.

-0-0-0-

"You know you have to enter a specific combination, not just random numbers right?" 

Fitz rolled his eyes and turned around to look at his smirking girlfriend. 

"I know that … but it seems like someone forgot to give me the new combination." Fitz replied with an even bigger smirk.

"Or maybe someone forgot to check his emails …" 

"No I haven't … oh … " Fitz let out, his grin faltering so fast that Jemma couldn't help laughing fondly. "hum … maybe someone let his phone battery die …" He added, giving her his best boyish smile he knew she couldn't resist. 

"You're lucky you're cute …" She said before proceeding to enter the correct combination to unlock the door but not before pressing a soft, tender kiss to his lips. 

"So you wouldn't let me in if I wasn't cute?" He asked in a mock affronted tone. 

"Of course not! I have to be careful who I let in the building!" She grinned. "Also" She added, once they were through the door, hand in hand and walking towards the elevator. "You have the cupcakes" she said, nodding towards the big cardboard boxes he carried in an even bigger paper bag. "and a house warming party is not a proper one without cupcakes!" 

"Oh wow …" He said as he stopped walking and tried his best to cross his arms over his chest in his best approximation of disapproval. "And I thought you loved me for my brains and charming personality but if I could teach a dog to go to the store and bring back cupcakes, you would replace me in a heartbeat, wouldn't you?" 

Jemma threw her head back in laughter and when she looked back at him, he was pouting so exaggeratedly that she couldn't help laughing even louder. 

"Oh Fitz …" She said, her laughter turning into a mischievous grin. "If you stop pouting now and follow me inside the apartment, I'll tell you all about the things I have planned for you tonight that could definitely not be done by a dog …" She trailed off, letting her fingers suggestively trailed down his chest and stopping at his belt buckle. 

God, he hoped those things involved a bed and them wearing very fewer clothes and not a vacuum cleaner and detergent. 

But Fitz being the smart man that he was, he quickly did the maths and decided that when Jemma was looking at him like that, the odds were generally in his favor. And two hours later, when their friends rang the door bell, Fitz's last boxes still weren't unpacked, the vacuum was nowhere to be seen, half the food wasn't ready and their hair wasn't even dry yet from taking a very long, not very efficient but very satisfying shower. But when they opened the door with matching wide smiles on their faces, Fitz was pretty sure she agreed that it was a perfect way to celebrate the beginning of a new chapter in their life: with a little bit of chaos but infinite happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I supposed I could have used the obvious Will-Jemma-Fitz love triangle but I absolutely hated it in the show and I honestly didn't feel like making Will an important character in this story. On the other hand, Trip was a much more likable character and we know he was interested in Jemma so that seemed like a plausible situation. Obviously, Trip isn't going to be as dumb as Joey so I adapted their interactions and hopefully it'll still be funny :)


End file.
